#& kids who were severely intellectually and physically disabled

[yourheartinyourmouth]

in my experience, what they actually mean when they say that, and the reason they say it as a compliment, is “wow, you’re not an offputting freak like i was expecting you to be! you’re actually a person!”

and that’s why they say it as a compliment. they were expecting either an empty husk, which is how they see nonverbal/intellectually/physically disabled autistics, or an unwashed creep with a fixation on anime girls and MLP, which is what they think most autistics are, or Rain Man, which is their perception of verbal intellectually disabled autistics.

in any case, what it really means is “i didn’t expect you to be a human being like me.”

I hate it when Neurotypicals are like “you don’t SEEM autistic”, because what they’re really saying is “you don’t fit into my preconceived idea of what autism is”. And the worst part is, they think that’s a compliment!

[soapver4]

Pity, a Star Wars series

Spinoff Bubble: A long time ago in a slightly more dissimilar galaxy far, far away… a clique of righteous, highly accomplished but long-orphaned Jedi Knights grow increasingly perturbed when they notice glints of doting sorrow in their ailing Jedi Master' eyes as her usually inscrutable facade breaks down. As twisty investigations on a mass murder mystery progress, they suspect that they were memory-wiped child assassins responsible for the killings. The Jedi Master, determined to safeguard the truth, now performs a memory wipe on herself, leaving them with no choice but to roam rough planets in search of their real families and what remains of kidnappers already known to mindwash, torture and train such child assassins.

The expeditions throw up three discoveries, some intriguing and some startling. First, though some of these Jedi bear strong physical resemblances to the assassins' families, the parents are strikingly different from those in the few stubborn remnants of their early memories. Are the Jedi Knights doppelgängers serving as red herrings for some purpose? Second, life at the bottom rungs of the galactic system proves far more violent and degrading than they had imagined. Third, certain kidnappers, wrongly presumed dead, have been resurrecting their operations.

Putting aside their parentage questions for the sake of the galaxy, the Jedi Knights rally enormous resources and forces — including the MedCorps, AgriCorps and EduCorps — to assist the suffering people, thwart the kidnappers' operations and rescue new child assassins and potential murder targets. In fact, the amelioration of ground-level suffering is crucial as it frees up attention and care for would-be kidnappees and tamps down socioeconomic ills that feed those spies-recruiting kidnappers' radical ideologies. Enthusiastic recruits from numerous species, such as humans, Wookiees, Mogwai and Ewoks, rush to join the massive project out of duty, a thirst for adventure or raw financial desperation.

Much unfortunately, in their endeavor to bring about political and economic stability in the various planetary societies, the Jedi Knights end up reproducing the overall socioeconomic order in the galaxy. Project respondents with the best means throughout life have the highest odds of possessing the talent for roles with the best remuneration and opportunities to explore and shape their galaxy. The ordinary ones net ordinary roles. Those who look like they can barely take care of themselves, like paraplegics without Darth Vader's bionics, are redirected to subminimum wage jobs in sheltered workshops, and if they insist that is not enough for the families they are actually breadwinners of, food in scuffles-prone soup kitchens as well.

Things take a bizarre turn when a human Jedi Knight among our orphaned leads bump into a wrinkled Wookiee woman he uncontrollably tears up at the sight of, while a bunch of human kids out of earshot poke fun at the gigantic species' extreme hairiness. To figure out the cause of his outburst, he follows her home, where he discovers the childhood bedroom in his dreams. On the bed lies the woman's only child, a Wookiee she later tells him was diagnosed with a severe intellectual disability prior to a harrowing bout of infection, a visit by a Jedi whose traits match the Jedi Master's, and his present coma. As he stares at the unconscious Wookie, waves of surreal numbness course through his human body.

Over the coming months, the supposedly orphaned Jedi Knights follow the lead to track down more families whose children became comatose after covert visits from the Jedi Master. Since the comas did not occur immediately after the visits and the families did not know each other, barely anybody seriously suspected her. By and by, these Jedi Knights discover her hidden talent of suppressing a child's consciousness and remotely transferring it from one body to another. The comatose bodies are naturally the original bodies, the suppressed consciousness and host bodies are the child assassins', and the transferred consciousness are the comatose bodies'.

But who are the other comatose people, the rest of the Jedi Knights at the heart of this series? They are the very class of galaxy inhabitants they sort into the bottom of the economic pyramid: One has severe cerebral palsy; another suffers from the locked-in syndrome; yet another is an autistic person with difficulties in camouflaging. The last one has had childhood schizophrenia. Even the Jedi with locked-in syndrome had an inquisitive mind and could do some meaningful work in her own body when equipped with the necessary technology. Nevertheless, they know too well that too few foremen in their own operations would have confidence placing bets on grit and stereotype fallibility to yield staggering quotas of goods and services out of their original selves under the forever harsh circumstances of the galaxy.

The celebrated Jedi heroes stand over a dusty manual on consciousness manipulation, juxtaposed with shots of their comatose bodies. Three of them make the hard decision to transfer their consciousness to captured kidnappers' bodies, arrange for rehabilitation of the awakening child assassins and continue their Jedi missions. The remaining pair, finding the notion of breathing and traveling through these depraved masterminds' bodies too revolting, choose to return to their trapping old lives.

[funnuraba]

I feel like I need to be talking about the specific symptoms of ME/CFS, because I really, really wish I'd known what all my snowballing symptoms were pointing towards before I became 98% bedridden. So, here's the brain fog:

Starting in mid to late 2020 (I believe my Covid infection was in March; the only symptom was a mild sore throat that I worried about but then brushed off because no respiratory symptoms developed), I started having trouble finding words, and making spoonerisms where I'd never done so before. I nervously put this down to turning 30, but wondered if it had really started this early for the family members who had similar issues in their 50s.

Now, as a result of pushing myself through fatigue for three years, I have full-blown ME that's finally presenting unmistakably, with Post-Exertional Malaise: if I use too much energy, I pay for it the next day with flu-like symptoms, and more often than that with a mental crash. In these mental crashes (I also get them before it rains), I can't speak. I can't think in full sentences, and it's prohibitively difficult to think in words of more than one syllable. Even one-syllable words with complex sounds are too much sometimes. Something like "please let this end soon", which tries to pop up a lot, is impossible to finish because the "pl" diphthong takes too much effort to think and to form with my mouth. I was able to entertain myself through a few crashes by noting these things, to the limited extent that I could put anything into words.

There's also some unusual linguistics at work. I can't, for example, put a pause between syllables except with great effort, but I can replace a two-syllable word with two or even three monosyllabic ones! For example, I can't manage "always" no matter what I do. I have to turn it into "all time", which is the same number of syllables, but for some reason takes less energy. I can't put a long pause into "always" and get it out that way. An example sentence I have to settle for during a mental crash would be, "This hard. Me want think big all time."

During one of these crashes I was thinking of Flowers For Algernon, and all I could manage was "rat brain book". "Me cry at rat brain book when kid. Now look at me. Life is shit. Ha." (Even in that state I had to force out a few more sentences clarifying that the part I cried at wasn't him being disabled to begin with, but that he had to go back to being bullied with no way to defend himself or understand what was happening to him. Why did I need to make sure I knew this, within my own brain that already knows my own thoughts? This is a long-standing impulse of mine that doesn't make much sense.)

Now, I could mentally picture a book cover that had the words Flowers For Algernon on the cover. I could see the F and the A, and the articulation of the full title was just out of reach. But reaching out and "grabbing" it was physically painful. I had to give up, despite being aware that the knowledge was in my brain. By a strange coincidence, the very next day brought a post on the r/CFS subreddit by someone comparing their own situation to Flowers For Algernon. As much as I believe people with brain damage and intellectual disabilities should be treated with dignity and not like a tragedy for existing, the loss of myself as someone who's always prided myself on my facility with words is beyond my ability to describe. These crashes, which also bring extreme sensitivity to other people's touch or presence, to light and sound--all light, all sound, including your own breathing--are like experiencing your own death, over and over and over again. You don't know if or even when it'll stop, because some Very Severe people are stuck like this, and every crash is the one that could be permanent.

All of which goes to say, you have no idea how much energy it takes to even think. When your mitochondria physically can't recharge, every scrap of energy is used up on things like breathing, seeing, hearing, digesting food. Your conscious thoughts are one of the first things to fall by the wayside so your body can keep doing those. And for people at the most extreme end of ME, they can in fact lose the strength to even breathe.

[mermaidsirennikita]

People see more than one sex scene on a movie or a tv show and starts crying about it

The thing about the Poor Things scenes is that they're not really imo actually titillating (except for maybe the scene with Antoinette/'Toinette, but that's possibly based on my own POV) and some of the content is uncomfortable. But it's like... very much meant to be, lol. I don't think they're meant to AROUSE.

Yorgos/Tony McNamara can't control how people respond to the movie. Some people will always get things out of explicit scenes (or any scenes really) that the director and writer(s) did not intend. I can think of a scene in a certain Cronenberg movie that I find absolutely DISGUSTING and I think it's supposed to be shocking and repellent. I am sure... some people........... are into that.................................

But like, the thing about the way Bella progresses is that from day one, even when she is not a sexual being, the men in her life project sexuality onto her. Even the nice ones, like Max. She's dancing around like a baby, literally not potty-trained, and he thinks she's a stunning creature despite also believing she has a severe intellectual disability.

And yes, she begins exploring herself when she has the mind of a child still. Because, and I think some people on the right and the left viewing this genuinely don't believe this... kids do that. Not all kids. A lot of them. I think there potentially is something to be said about the discomfort of how that's framed visually (at points... not every point lol the kitchen scene did not play as something intended to be erotic at all to me). But I also think that there was at points a very intentional male gaze (at that point, Max's gaze and later Duncan's) on this childlike exploration.

I also think that she kind of was consistent with the precocious exploration and curiosity sometimes exhibited by kids who HAVE been abused. Not that Max and Godwin were necessarily abusing her to the extent that I think one would fear, but they were not treating her, especially Max, as you should treat a child. Max's gaze (though I found their romantic connection highly theoretical and more about a semi-romantic bond between two people who have shared trauma and shared love of one person, two people who were sort of RAISED together in a way, I definitely think she had more of a true RELATIONSHIP with Antoinette at the end, certainly on a physical level lol) was one of interest in a way that it shouldn't have been, right? And I think she responded to that in this warped way that is... true to how some people respond to abuse. It doesn't mean she's not being abused, and it doesn't mean the film doesn't think that, imo.

Like, the movie may not see Max as the ultimate villain, and the movie may have Max side with and support her in the end, but a) I don't think the movie is very interested in black and white morality anyway lol b) I don't think that's the moving absolving Max of his bad behavior. Him showing good behavior by supporting Bella does not mean he was never bad. I also really reject the idea that the movie undermines her liberty by having her settle with him in the end. Because she almost did, yes--and I think a lot of that was about again, them both loving Godwin and a very real idea of marrying someone to let Godwin know she's safe and happy. But I also deeply did not read the ending as Max being like... this keeper. She was definitely with Antoinette in the end, and maybe Max was there on the side lol. He was definitely Team Bella, but I don't think he was this man she huddled behind by any means. I don't know how anyone could read that.

But yeah, I think a lot of the sexuality people found so alarming onscreen was, tbh, less about her becoming like.... This liberated woman, and more about her becoming A WOMAN. A lot of people want to separate themselves form that side of human development currently because they find it messed up and gross. And that's fine. You can be repulsed by it personally. But to pretend that it's not an important part of growth and growing up for some people is... to be in denial, frankly. And when we're in denial of that, I think we encourage people do explore it in a safe way.

I mean, the movie MAKES THAT POINT. Godwin wanted Bella to marry Max because he was safe. But she still had things to explore. She was curious. The denial of her curiosity and the urge to treat her like a child forever led to her doing what... a lot of rebellious teenagers do. She ran off with someone she knew was bad but found "interesting" to explore. And he ended up treated her like a different kind of woman-child.

Idk, I just think the movie's rhetoric was fairly obvious, and some scenes WERE uncomfortable, and were supposed to be. To me, saying that this movie suggests that the people who made it (many people, but I'm seeing Yorgos and Tony McNamara get called out the most) endorse this idea of abusing women and young girls is like saying that The Favourite endorsed stepping on bunnies.

[aro-absol]

What's the most Abled Person Thing someone has said to you?

And how did you respond?

Hi! Sorry for the late response. I have already answered the question here, but I just thought of another moment, so here we go.

13. What's the most Abled Person Thing someone has said to you?

Years ago, when I was a teenager, I went to a rehab facility. Not for an acute issue or something, I just wanted to get more intensive therapy for a few weeks to improve strength and stamina in my whole body and working on becoming more independent.

When the head physician came in for ward round the first time, we didn't have much to talk about because I didn't actually require medical attention. So he just asked me what my goals were, but we also talked about my normal life situation at home. One of the questions was how I was doing at school. I told him I went to a standard school and followed the standard curriculum, but I had a caregiver to help me with certain things as well as more time for tests (I can't write as fast as my peers). Overall, my grades were pretty good. This was all true, by the way.

This man, who only met me five minutes ago, had the audacity to insinuate that my caregiver was actually helping me with the tests by telling me all the answers.

WHAT THE FUCK

Apparently disabled kids can't ever be smart. Of course, none of us are capable of learning all the stuff our abled peers learn. (Sarcasm)

It wasn't even gifted kid, through the roof, I'm not challenged enough type of excellent grades. It was just good grades. Several of my classmates (who didn't have caregivers) were achieving the same or better.

My disability is purely physical. I do not have an intellectual disability/learning disability. The doctor knew that. He had my chart.

Unfortunately, I don't remember if I answered anything. I probably was too stunned to speak. I think now I would have the ability to speak up for myself, but back then, I didn't.

Anyways fuck that arrogant ableist.

[neverfakeautism]

Facial features provide clue to autism severity

by Deborah Rudacille / 20 October 2011

Boys with autism have a distinct facial structure that differs from that of typically developing controls, according to a study published 14 October in Molecular Autism1. Specifically, boys with autism have broader faces and mouths, flatter noses, narrower cheeks and a shorter philtrum — the cleft between the lips and nose — compared with controls, according to the three-dimensional facial imaging system used in the study. These distinctive features suggest that certain embryonic processes that give rise to facial features are perturbed during development, the researchers say.

The participants in the study were all 8 to 12 years old, an age range during which the face is relatively mature, but not yet affected by the hormonal changes of puberty.

The researchers used the imaging system, dubbed 3DMD, to plot 17 ‘landmarks’ or coordinates on the face of 64 boys with autism and 40 typical controls. They then measured the distance between several of these coordinates.

Boys with autism who have the most distinctive facial features cluster into two groups with very different sets of autism symptoms, the researchers found.

Boys in one group tend to have wide mouths, combined with a short distance between the top of the mouth and the bottom of the eyes. They also show severe symptoms of autism, including language impairment, intellectual disability and seizures.

By contrast, those in the second group have broad upper faces and a short philtrum. They are more likely to be diagnosed with Asperger syndrome, and to have fewer cognitive impairments and language difficulties compared with the first group.

“As a clinical geneticist, I have always been impressed by a certain facial phenotype in children with autism,” says lead investigator Judith Miles. But it wasn’t until she turned to 3DMD, developed for use by plastic surgeons, that clear quantitative differences emerged between boys with autism and controls, she says.

Those differences almost certainly reflect underlying neurodevelopmental processes, she says. “The reason to look at the face is that it reflects differences in the brain.”

Group effects:

Studies have found that children with autism are more likely than controls to have dysmorphology, or unusual physical features, of the head and skull.

Earlier this month, researchers at the University of South Alabama reported that among children referred for genetic testing for suspected autism, those who have a copy number variation (CNV), a deletion or duplication of a genetic region, are more likely to have unusual facial features than those who carry no CNVs2.

“There is remarkable etiologic heterogeneity in autism, and the use of dysmorphology phenotyping may help us come to grips with some of this complexity,” says Curtis Deutsch, associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Massachusetts Medical School, who was not involved with either new study.

Studies of facial dysmorphology in autism have generally relied on observation or tools such as calipers to pinpoint specific facial features.

3DMD instead uses multiple digital cameras to capture a 360-degree image of the head. Algorithms integrate the images to produce a single 3D image that is analyzed using special software.

This generates results that are more fine-grained than manual measurements, says Kristina Aldridge, assistant professor of pathology and anatomical sciences at the University of Missouri.

“We’re not talking about kids you would pick out on the street as looking different. These are subtle differences that are systematic, [in the range of] 2 to 5 millimeters,” Aldridge says. “It is extraordinarily precise.” She has used 3DMD to assess facial dysmorphology in children with birth defects3.

Deutsch has used the same technology in his own research. Still, he cautions that the sample size in the study may not be large enough to generate reliable results.

“It is also important to guard against performing a multitude of statistical tests without appropriate corrections,” he adds. “Otherwise differences that are reported as significant can result from chance alone.”

Researchers typically apply mathematical formulas to correct for chance associations. Miles instead used cluster analysis, which pulls together similar entities from large datasets.

This sort of analysis can produce results that are difficult to interpret, Miles says. “It will always give you something, but we had to look at whether clinical differences correlated with the subgroups identified by the cluster analysis.”

Using autism diagnostic characteristics, intelligence quotients (IQ), medical symptoms and other measures, she says, “what we found is that those two subgroups really do appear to be discrete clinically.”

The findings resonate with researchers who have studied dysmorphology in autism using less sophisticated measures than 3DMD.

For example, a team at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston, Texas, reported at the 2011 International Meeting for Autism Research in San Diego that severe autism symptoms predict the presence of dysmorphic features — albeit those not discernible to the naked eye. “The vast majority of cases [in that study] show very subtle facial differences,” says Robin Kochel, assistant professor of psychology at the Baylor College of Medicine.

The results of the new study jibe with what she sees everyday in the Autism Center at Texas Children’s Hospital, Kochel says. “Those who have more dysmorphology tend to have more problems and be more severely affected.”

References:

1: Aldridge K. et al. Mol. Autism Epub before print (2011) PubMed

2: Gannon W.T. et al. J. Dev. Behav. Pediatr. 32, 600-604 (2011) PubMed

3: Martinez-Abadias N. et al. Dev. Dyn. 239, 3058-3071 (2010) PubMed

[lettucedloophole]

- do not rb -

saw this really ableist post recently so this is going to come out of left field but i think it's. maybe good to consider the implications of immediately designating someone's existence as lesser due to lack of cognitive ability. this sounds stupid without context so i'm just going to say i saw a post about how "high functioning" autistic ppl shouldn't denounce a cure for autism bc "lower-functioning" people who can't be independent by themselves would benefit from it. op used the term "permatoddler" to describe such ppl and so it made me think if toddlers existences are useless. like if someone was theoretically a toddler forever would that be so bad?

it's hard to unpack, but i think a good rule of thumb to follow morally is life for life's sake. if someone's alive, they should live. yes? generally speaking, i think so. people should live unless they're unliving other people. and so, the burden of a toddler comes in-- does it take away from others' lives to care for someone else, is the question. inherently, is it a burden to care for others with no return. is lack of independence a burden. has negative implications not only for intellectually disabled ppl but physically disabled ppl and kids. not to be like a bioessentialist or whatever but i feel like it goes against the nature of like most of humanity to say caring takes away from human lives rather than enriches them . ..

second thing. who are we to say what existence is better than another, what's wrong or right... it sounds so trite and stupidly abstract but if someone is living and happy then do you have a right to impose change onto that person when they're not taking from others? if someone is a so severely intellectually disabled that an outside party feels their life is a pity, could they want that change for themselves if they're as helpless as op posits... i guess the answer i'm supposed to come to is "no, but it's objectively okay to force change because we know better." and i don't like that answer

third thing. posing negative behaviours (+emotions) of ppl with intellectual disabilities as innate to them rather than the effects of ableist society, namely, lack of care or, maltreatment... i don't believe that some people are just born bad. i cannot make myself believe that. even if it were true, how would i know? how would you, how would anyone know? the structures making things difficult for disabled people and everyone else are still in place.

is it unethical to keep the human race going if care is expected to be given to babies & kids? this is more tangential than directly related but it's about taking the burden of care narrative to its extreme.

this is not a well-thought out post. it's 4am and I didn't sleep well yesterday either. i was just bothered by that post and wanted to get my thoughts out about it. please do share if you guys have any thoughts about this as well.

[saltymcsaltything]

I grew up masking from a very young age because I was very self aware but very naive and I assumed based on shreds of information I picked up by 2nd grade that all of my emotional, health, and sensory problems that nobody outside of my immediate family could understand meant I was 'crazy', and the only thing I knew growing up was that my grandmother was ostracized and died because of her mental illness. Had she been "treated" by the standards of the day it would have been in an institution and it would have either involved massive sedatives or shock therapy.

I didn't know that most of my challenges were because of autism. I'm "gifted" but I struggled a lot with physical issues that went under recognized and unsupported. I hated my body and my emotions, but because I'm 'smart' I thought I just had to constantly watch myself and learn to fit in and then I would be okay.

Thing is, I never felt like I was any good at it. I relied a lot on being able to hide in the crowd, and I drifted away from friends before ghosting was a thing at any sign I was being found out, or at any transition point in life, because that have me a chance to naturally start over and not risk the pain of a relationship imploding when they realized what a fucking mess I am.

And I was *good* at masking, but I have always felt like I was tap dancing on the edge of a razor and one slip would get me fired, ostracized, hated, and locked away. And I still can't fully convince myself that's just a nightmare scenario I've built up in my head to keep myself from slipping and losing autonomy. I controlled myself to keep others from taking total control. And those feelings only got worse when my mom passed, because with both of my parents gone my one lifeline back to safety if it all fell apart was gone. I masked my way into a marriage and I didn't even feel safe letting my wife see how fragile my grip on "normalcy" was.

I got diagnosed after my mom died because I lost all capacity to mask. I could not take care of myself, and my wife watched me fall apart. She told me she thought I could be autistic... because she had suspected she was for years and she was seeing the outward manifestation of things she felt in my unmasked behavior. I eventually realized that she had exactly the same fears that I always had, compounded by other aspects of her identity that made her even more likely to be institutionalized if she dropped her mask.

I know that my nightmare scenario is closer to reality for a lot of people who are more like me than I ever knew. And I feel guilty for having the advantages that have allowed me to hide it. But I grew up thinking "you are crazy, hide this or die" because I saw that message in media. And every time I have started to convince myself that it's just horror movie fiction, I see real reminders of how dehumanizing and dangerous it is to be in a carceral system of any kind in this country. The physical spaces might not always look like a horror movie, but the loss of autonomy even in "Gentle Jail" is still barbaric.

I hated segregated special ed as a kid. 508's existed but only kids with purely physical disabilities got accommodations (poor ones at that). Anybody who presented with intellectual disability, speech or motor disabilities, or recognized learning disorders, as well as any "severe" behavioral problems was completely isolated from all mainstream kids. Special Education classes didn't even come to assemblies, they were literally on the far side of campus in a trailer. I had friends who were in there that I only saw after school in the neighborhood. Their bus might as well have been taking them to another city for as invisible as they were in school.

And I *knew* at 8 yrs old that we weren't really that different, but our lives were on two completely different tracks because I lucked into 'genius' level IQ. But I have always felt like I burn most of my cognitive horsepower running algorithms to keep the rest of my shit from falling apart. And I felt like I had to, because if I didn't, I saw what my kind of issues would get me. I got "extra" counseling after answering too honestly on some psych profile for children at one point, and had to double down on my people pleasing act to convince them I wasn't really a quivering bundle of anxiety and aggression... and it worked because I could play the part when I contain the fact that I was angry, exhausted and upset that someone was prying into my head at all if the things that terrified me.

And after decades of that and the abuse I endured along the way, I have developed mental health issues that make me 'crazy' the way I always feared I was. And now every potential encounter with authority is even more fraught because the feeling that I might get triggered and have a panic attack or a shrieking meltdown is very, very plausible.

So... yeah. Flying under the radar to stay alive and out of jail doesn't seem like such an irrational childhood fear. The reality is that those systems are as awful as my 8 year old brain felt they were, just with better interior design. My actual nightmares were full of outwardly nice child psychologist types who were abusive ableist control freaks and that is real. They tortured kids with electroshock and that is real. They controlled every aspect of every day and that is real. And I fucking hate that I was more right than I could have imagined.

Where are all the "slow" kids, the challenged kids, the burnouts from birth, the burden to have in class? Where are the autists who can't mask, who self harm, who are loud and can't stop stimming? The NDs with processing disorders, brain damage, brain fog? The ones with down syndrome, FAS, and other conditions that people treat like curses or defects. I hardly ever see them past 18 and I know they don't just dissolve once they become adults.

[kaypeace21]

El and “post institutional syndrome” (psych analysis)

Before I go in depth with this condition. I wanted to discuss the unique real life case of Genie (whose experiences most closely resemble El ‘s) . And , because of this , could possibly give us insight on how El’s past may affect her psychosocial development .

“Genie had spent almost her entire childhood locked in a bedroom, isolated and ab*sed by her father for the first 13 years of her life. The social worker soon discovered that the girl had been confined to a small room, and an investigation by authorities quickly revealed that the child had spent most of her life in this room. The windows were curtained and the door was kept closed.” 

“At this time, she could only speak a few words -- including "stopit" and "nomore." 

“While her circumstances until that point were undeniably tragic, they also presented an opportunity for psychologists, linguists, and other researchers to study psychosocial, emotional, and cognitive development in an individual who had suffered from severe social isolation and deprivation. In particular, the discovery of Genie presented an opportunity to study whether a child who was past the so-called "critical period" for language acquisition could learn to speak a first language.”

“The case was important, said psycholinguist and author Harlan Lee, because ‘our morality doesn’t allow us to conduct deprivation experiments with human beings; these unfortunate people are all we have to go on.’

* Brenner not only kept her in isolation via her room but even put her through severe deprivation via solitary confinement as punishment. Putting her in a completely barren dark room for hours.UN Special Rapporteur Juan E. Méndez warned ,”Considering the severe mental pain or suffering solitary confinement may cause, it can amount to t*rture or cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment when used as a punishment,  indefinitely, or for a prolonged period, for persons with mental disabilities or juveniles.”

“After assessing Genie's emotional and cognitive abilities, Kent described her as ‘the most profoundly damaged child I've ever seen … Genie's life is a wasteland.’ She began to experience more developmental progress,  but remained poor in areas such as language.Susan Curtiss worked with Genie to teach her English. Genie soon developed a rather large lexicon and was able to express herself. But despite extensive training, she remained unable to produce grammatical sentences. Here is a transcript of one of her reports of her time in the hands of her father:

Father hit arm. Big wood. Genie cry ... Not spit. Father. Hit face—spit ... Father hit big stick. Father angry. Father hit Genie big stick. Father take piece wood hit. Cry. Me cry.”

“According to Lenneberg, the critical period for language acquisition lasts until around age 12. After the onset of puberty (at 13), he argued, the organization of the brain becomes set and no longer able to learn and utilize language in a fully functional manner.The case of Genie confirms that there is a certain window of opportunity that sets the limit for when you can become relatively fluent in a language. Of course, if you already are fluent in another language, the brain is already primed for language acquisition . If you have no experience with grammar, however, Broca's (an area of the brain) remains relatively hard to change: you cannot learn grammatical language production later on in life. But the abilities to understand language and produce language in ways that do not rely on grammar largely make use of Wernicke's area in the temporal lope. This area is capable of expanding and rewiring throughout life—even after the teen years. The case of Genie confirms this. Grammar was beyond reach for her. But language comprehension and storytelling were not.”

So El struggling with grammar in some sentences but not in others and  improving in grammar unlike Jennie- could possibly be because unlike Jeanie, El was 12 when rescued  vs Jeanie who was 13?

“Researchers were also  left to wonder whether Genie had suffered from cognitive deficits caused by her years of severe neglect or if she had been born with an ‘intellectual disability’.  Most believed,  the permanent mental impairments and ‘developmental delays’ Genie exhibited (upon being assessed ) were the result of the isolation and deprivation she was subjected to.”

For those confused about certain terms just used. “Developmental delays appear before 22 years of age. They are life-long disabilities that affect one or both physical and cognitive functioning. ‘Intellectual disability’ encompasses the “cognitive” part of this definition, that is, a disability that is broadly related to thought processes. People with intellectual disabilities are known for having below-average IQ/cognitive abilities . ID can be caused by a myriad of things- including physical and genetic factors, problems during pregnancy or at birth, health issues at an early age, exposure to environmental toxins, or non-physical causes such as lack of stimulation.”

*DISCLAIMER before we begin: I’m saying this now, cause I expect bad actors to try and cancel me. El , even if she has an intellectual disability- is still a human being with many aspirational character traits- that people can admire or aspire to have . She’s kind, selfless, brave, and resilient.  People with ID can still function and have jobs, make decisions, and learn new skills too. And they have human emotions like everyone else. if you are “offended” that I say a character you like  may have ID - and are pissy you related and empathized to a character that you would otherwise have  ‘othered’ cause they have an intellectual disability. Me, an autistic person, (who the fandom has bullied for being autistic) is not the ableist one for simply saying she may have an Intellectual disability .Being angry by the very idea a character you like has a condition  , and saying it’s “offensive”/”insulting to them” (is ableist). And  in a sense dehumanizes these people who are greatly underestimated and mistreated by society already. you don’t have to agree of course- but don’t try to smear me for stating my opinion based on the psych papers I’ll be discussing. I love El, and have a cousin with ID, so no this isn’t me insulting El. The Duffers said they wanted to give a voice to those “othered” by society- and people who aren’t neurotypical could easily be on the list. The Duffers having us love, relate, and  empathize with a character such as this wouldn’t be a bad thing- but good rep .So now I’ll continue with the evidence that alludes to El possibly having ID.

Post institutional syndrome

“In clinical and abnormal psychology, POST INSTITUTIONAL SYNDROME- refers to deficits or disabilities in social and life skills, which develop after a person has spent a long period living in remote institutions (such as orphanages). “

“Growing up in such an environment can change the brain for good.Institutionalization in early childhood can alter a child's brain and behavior in the long run.The ongoing nature of chronic neglect significantly impacts the brain in infancy and early childhood. It suggests that the specific ages of approximately 6−18 months old , may be especially sensitive to developing deficiencies in orphanage environments. “ (*Making El who was raised in such an environment since birth quite susceptible ).

“According to Perry (2002), neglect at this phase impedes formation of neurological pathways essential to communication in the brain. They found that early institutionalization changed both the structure and the function of the brain. Any time spent in an institution shrunk the volume of gray matter, or brain cell bodies, in the brain. Kids who stayed in the orphanages instead of going to foster care also had less white matter, or the fat-covered tracts between brain cell bodies, than kids who, at a young age, moved in with families.Staying in an orphanage instead of foster care also resulted in lower-quality brain activity as measured by EEG.”

“Neglect may be the most detrimental maltreatment type on brain development.A child’s neurocognitive and emotional development rapidly moves towards a downward spiral following extended time in an institution.Normal development may be disrupted by deprivation associated with neglect and can result in dysregulation of neural systems during vulnerable periods of brain development, leading to pronounced neurocognitive deficits due to maltreatment.There are many outcomes related to this disruption in brain development: delays in development of IQ , delays in language, cognitive delays that impact learning, and difficulty with behavioral inhibitions,  social emotional functioning and well as impaired attachment (Wilkerson, 2009; Barkley, 1997).”

 “Low-stimulation environments can lead to lower scores on intelligence and language tests. Neglect is the type of maltreatment most strongly associated with delays in expressive, receptive, and overall language development.interpersonal interaction is necessary for the acquisition of early language, and these interactions may be limited for children that have been in institutional settings or have experienced physical or emotional neglect.Speech and language delays along with social-emotional delays are very common as the child continues in the institutional environment.”

“Compared with youth that were not neglected, children demonstrated lower cognitive and language scores and more behavioral problems.Higher IQ could be predicted by language scores and an absence of externalizing behavior problems. When comparing the neglected children: shorter time spent in a stable environment, lower scores on language skills, and the presence of externalizing behavior problems predicted lower IQ.”

“The cognitive development of institutionalized children has been studied for more than 60 years. Between 1930 and 1950 a first wave of studies documented that children in institutions often showed a low IQ and severe language delays (Crissey, 1937; Durfee & Wolf, 1933), and children’s orphanages have been considered “natural experiments” on the necessary conditions for intellectual growth (MacLean, 2003).For example, Rutter (1998) found that the mean IQ of children leaving institutional care in Romania shortly after the fall of Ceausescu was about 50 (population mean = 100). Similar results were shown with Dennis in (1973) who addressed the question of how large the cognitive delay of children in orphanages was compared to children adopted into families. He studied children who were abandoned immediately after birth and were reared in children’s homes in Lebanon.Dennis found that at age 11, the average IQ of the adopted children was within the range of normally developing children, whereas the non-adopted 11 y old orphans still living in these institutions were diagnosed as Intellectually disabled.At his followup, when they were 16, these same girls at the Zouk institution had an average IQ going just above 50. While, In a meta-analysis of 75 studies, van IJzendoorn et al. (2008) found that children living in institutional care scored on average 20 points lower on intelligence tests than children who were raised in families.”

“These later studies also revealed that the percentage of time spent in institutional care was significantly and negatively correlated with full scale IQ, verbal, and memory scores. And that 12 years of institutional care, from birth to 12 years of age, showed placement into foster care did not increase iq points .The only cognitive improvement of placing these children in foster care at age 12 -was on working memory. While the only cognitive improvements of taking the children out of the institution by 8 years old was on processing speed. “

pics for proof if you don’t believe me-

* Meaning realistically El who was in such an environment (from birth to 12 years old)  may learn new things after being placed in foster care (like with Hopper or the Byers)-but her Iq would never improve to the point of being neurotypical-  she’d always have an intellectual disability.

Intellectual disability

“People with intellectual and learning Disabilities may have deficits in speech production . Impairment of speech production is among the most commonly reported difficulties in children, adolescents and adults with ID . The children,  including some with mild and moderate intellectual disabilities may lack in phonological development in their speech. These children also exhibit many articulatory deficits, delays in expressive language and show significant limitations in grammar and syntax development  compared to  those their age (without an iD). They often speak in subdued tones or use explosive voice modulations .Some speak quietly, while in others vocal intensity varied from utterance to utterance. “

“Intellectual disability is identified as mild , moderate, severe or profound.”

So, if based on average of Iq of children raised in orphanages (from birth to 11,12, or 16 years old). El would have a mild intellectual disability (and an Iq possibly around 50).Of those affected with ID, about 85% fall into the "mild" category.

Mild intellectuality disability disorder symptoms:

-”being fully independent in self-care when they get older (brushing teeth, dressing themselves, cooking, taking public transport, etc)”

-having problems with reading and writing (having math/reading skills between a 3rd- 6th grade level).

-having an IQ range of 50 to 69

-social immaturity

“Iq below 70 isn’t the only marker for diagnosis. But, also issues in adaptive functioning are usually used for diagnosis. Three areas of adaptive functioning are considered:According to the DSM-5 (APA, 2013), the signs and symptoms of adaptive functioning deficits across 3 domains (conceptual ,social and practical) for a mild intellectual disability are:

Conceptual Domain

”Slow language development (children learn to talk later, if at all). Or problems learning to talk or trouble speaking clearly.”

”Difficulties in academic learning ( such as having math/reading skills between a 3rd- 6th grade level).”

* El can read but still struggles with proper grammar ( verbally and through her writing) .She’s even reading an english-learning book.  Her unsteady handwriting/ lack of apostrophes hint she’s still learning to write (despite her reading abilities) .  And at 14 she doesn’t know what a state is-specifically  Illinois which she visited 6 months prior.

”Difficulty understanding  academic and abstract concepts of time “

*She didn’t start learning how to tell time until 12, and only seemed to master it at 14.

 “childish behavior inconsistent with the child’s age.”

*14 y old El and 5 y old Holly both having a thing for teddy bears, in s3/2.

”Problems with abstract thinking,  short term memory, and cognitive flexibility”. (”Abstract reasoning tasks include the ability to understand subjects on a complex level through analysis and evaluation and the ability to apply knowledge in problem-solving.”)

(”Cognitive flexibility has been described as the mental ability to switch between thinking about two different concepts, and to think about multiple concepts simultaneously.”)

*This one is a bit iffy, cause there’s a few explanations to the s3 example. El and Mike lie to their friends about her curfew.Yet the next day she is confused and says Mike wouldn’t lie to her - cause “friends don’t lie” All despite the fact she and Mike lied to Dustin, Max, Will, and Lucas the day before. So either she doesn’t understand the concept of hypocrisy because she lacks cognitive flexibility (or just doesn’t care about the hypocrisy)- aka her and Mike can lie to their friends, but she’s upset when they lie to her,  (and she’s fine if Mike lies to everyone but her) ?  Personally,I think she doesn’t grasp the concept of hypocrisy yet. Or she didn’t even realize she was lying and believed Mike was right about her curfew. Or bad writing. But given the concept of lying being prevalent to the season- I lean to Mike accidentally lying to her about her curfew (and El thinking her curfew was 4:00) . Or (more likely) El lies and doesn’t have the cognitive flexibility/abstract reasoning to understand that being upset Mike lied to her but not upset Mike (and her) lied to their friends is hypocritical.  She also lied to Mike and pretended she didn’t hear the confession at the cabin for 3 months. She ‘forgave’ Mike but she never noticed Mike didn’t even apologize for lying just being ‘jealous of Max’ (despite lying being the thing she was upset and dumped him over in the first place).  Anyways back on topic-

Social Domain

“Receptive language that may be limited to comprehension of simple speech and gestures.These students struggle to differentiate concrete and abstract concepts. Figurative language (metaphors, similes, idiomatic expressions, etc.) is typically quite confusing to them.”

“trouble understanding social cues”

“Limitations in language and communication skills.More concrete and less complex spoken language (if used), compared with peers. Limited vocabulary and grammatical skills.”

Practical Domain:

“May function age-appropriately in personal care (brushing teeth, dressing, going to the restroom etc).”

Early signs and symptoms of intellectual disability:

El has most of the signs...

-”Have trouble speaking or experiencing delays in speech, trouble understanding social norms,Challenges with problem-solving and logical thinking, Behavioral problems like extreme temper tantrums (breaking windows, pushing max, throwing food on Hopper and the girls in the mall), Having difficulty understanding the results of his or her actions (for instance like not understanding why spying on an ex is wrong).”

“If your child has ID, they may experience some of the following behavioral issues:aggression, Dependency, lack of impulse control passivity, stubbornness,low tolerance for frustration ,difficulty paying attention (She’s exhibited all of these).”

Other traits of Post institutional children

 “poor self concept” (One's self-concept is a collection of beliefs about oneself. Generally, self-concept embodies the answer to "Who am I?".)

“problems with coping and regulating emotions ,poor impulse control, and aggressiveness.”

“Studies have repeatedly shown that children with disrupted attachment who have experienced neglect have problems coping and managing emotions, “

“inappropriately demanding and clinging”                          

“indiscriminate friendliness”

“44% of institutionalized children showed high levels of indiscriminately sociable behavior as contrasted with 18% of children who had never been institutionalized.children who were indiscriminately sociable as 8-year olds were not indiscriminately sociable toward adults as 16-year olds; however, these children were indiscriminately sociable in their relationships with peers (those their own age). Thus, it is possible that indiscriminate sociability serves as a marker of later problems in social relationships, even though manifesting differently by the teen years.That friendliness was probably an important coping technique in their socially starved early lives. What's interesting is it just doesn't go away.Indiscriminate friendliness may also be tied to the amygdala. In a study using fMRI, Aviva Olsavsky, MD, at the University of California, Los Angeles, and colleagues found that when typical children (4-14 years old) viewed photos of their mothers versus photos of strangers, the amygdala showed distinctly different responses. In children who had been institutionalized, however, the amygdala responded similarly whether the children viewed mothers or strangers. That response was particularly notable among kids who exhibited more friendliness toward strangers. Attachment and behavior problems, indiscriminate friendliness, and lower IQ seem to go together in the same children.”

(We have to admit she attached herself rather quickly to Max, and Kali after only a few days, same goes for Mike and the boys she knew for only a week).

“cognitive delays, particularly speech and language deficits.” (we’ve covered that)

“quasi autism (is a term used to describe autistic-like difficulties and traits following very severe social deprivation in the first year of life.) About 10 % percent of the children adopted from Romanian orphanages after 6 months of age were diagnosed with autism sometime in childhood. And of those who stayed in the institution to age 11, 8.5% with an IQ >50 , fit the “quasi-autism” profile (meaning they fit some but not all autistic traits). The results showed  children with ‘autistic features’ usually experienced longer durations of severe psychological privation, than other orphans.”

El does have a few traits that some people on the spectrum have.

-” Many children with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) use echolalia, which means they repeat others' words or sentences. They might repeat the words of familiar people (parents, teachers, friends), or they might repeat sentences from their favorite video.”

(X)

-”Some children with ASD also have delayed speech and language skills.some children are even selectively mute. “

- ”Talk in a flat, robot-like tone” (obviously not all asd people. But I do think El’s voice in conversation can often be quite monotone).

 - Many autistic girls on the spectrum also have disordered eating patterns . This can include simply eating the same foods over and over again (cough her eggo obsession). And although “disorder eating” and “eating dis*rders” are different.”Previous research has found that autism and eating disorders can occur together, as 20-30% of adults with eating dis*rders have autism (despite being only 2.2% of the US population).”

-“Has obsessive interests” (her whole room is covered in Mike related stuff like he’s her special interest- my gay ass has no idea if a whole room covered in bf related stuff is ‘straight little girl normal’ or a bit obsessive- but I lean to the latter, especially when compared to Max’s room XD)

-” difficulty understanding social cues .” (covered that)

- “And she is sensitive to certain noises (thunder etc)”

 Alright, thanks for listening. Of course, this analysis is if the Duffers went the realistic route-which I do lean to them doing.  One of the stephen King movies “dream catcher” was cited as inspiration for Stranger things . It  even had a boy with ID who spoke in broken english, carried around stuffed animals, and had the superpower of being able to track people (just like El)  . And he retained broken english/his interest in stuffed animals in adulthood.Of course her fitting the psych criteria I listed could have other explanations.El can most certainly learn and improve in academic skills, language, and social skills even with an Intellectual disability. But honestly, even if El had an Iq of 160 she would (at least initially) struggle tremendously given the lack of education and neglect/ab*se she’s dealt with.But, I’m excited to see El gain independence as she learns more about herself and  the real world (and maybe heal from some of her tr*uma).

But if we’re talking academically-she doesn’t know basic geography or what a state is at 14.She’s still learning how to speak and write with correct grammar at 14.She only just mastered how to tell time at 14 . Does she even know how to add, subtract, multiple, and divide, let alone algebra (knowledge needed for highschool) ? Or basic science knowledge also needed ? No way would she’d be ready to go to highschool in s3 (like the others already attending, during the ending-time skip). If we were being realistic- she’d be held back a few years and or in remedial classes, or special school, etc. The kids in middle or highschool who don’t know her circumstances wouldn’t be understanding of why she has little knowledge of social norms, expressions, language issues,etc. El  has only interacted with 4 kids her own age for 3 months (9 months with Mike) and was in a year of isolation with Hopper (being taught social norms via tv- which is not the best teacher) .This was hardly ‘typical socialization for a kid her age’. Unlike, the rest of the gang who interacts with many kids on a daily basis.How will she be in an environment with this many kids? I wouldn’t be surprised if she was sadly bullied.Regardless, I’m looking forward to El’s character arc of trying to assimilate to the ‘real world’ as she grows into her own person-most likely  there’s some good in her journey and not just bullies along the way. :)

[the-homicidediaries]

Chris Benoit

Guys.

I am so excited to talk about this.

Not because of the context, but because this is one of the reasons I love wrestling so much; there’s so much that goes on behind the scenes that people have NO CLUE about.

There have been several professional wrestlers who have killed people or been killed themselves and the rabbit hole goes deep.

(Rey Mysterio accidentally killed a man on live tv and they still have the video up on YouTube.)

(Jimmy ‘Superfly’ Snuka murdered his girlfriend in May of 1983. Who is Jimmy Snuka? Jimmy Snuka was related to The Rock, Rikishi, and The Uso’s.)

THERE ARE SO MANY MORE THO.

But today, I want to talk about the Daddy of them all, Chris Benoit.

Chris Benoit’s crimes are so heinous and unforgivable Vince McMahon has swept his name under the rug and removed him from The Hall of Fame.

Benoit’s crimes also changed the dynamic of professional wrestling forever.

Chris Benoit was born in Montreal, Quebec to Michael and Margaret Benoit on May 21, 1967. He and his family resided in Edmonton, Alberta, however.

During Benoit’s childhood, he idolized Tom “Dynamite Kid” Billington (a British wrestler who competed in the 1980’s and had ongoing feuds with Hart) and Bret “Hitman” Hart (a Canadian-American wrestler and a member of the notorious Hart Family. He is a personal fave of mine as well).

When Benoit was 12 years old, he attended a local wrestling event where both Dynamite Kid and Hart were competing and he knew right then and there that he was destined to become a wrestler.

He trained in The Hart Family “dungeon” and was coached by none other than Stu Hart (Bret and Owen Hart’s father. If you don’t know Owen Hart, you should google him as well because he died under bizarre circumstances on live tv as well.)

When Benoit fought in the ring, he channeled both Dynamite Kid and Hart, even adopting Hart’s signature move, “Sharpshooter” as his finishing move.

Chris began wrestling in 1985 in Stu Hart’s Stampede Wrestling promotion. He was quickly recognized as a force to be reckoned with and received his first title, the Stampede British Commonwealth Mid-Heavyweight Championship, on March 18, 1988.

(This dude has a very extensive history or wrestling in New Japan Pro-Wrestling, World Champion Wrestling, Extreme Champion Wrestling, and World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment, but I just.. I cain’t get into all that, please forgive me. Haha! We are talking 22 years here! So I am humbly skipping to his family life.)

-Okay, so. I would love for this to be a romantic love story for the ages and the deaths resulted in crimes of passion, but that didn’t happen. At. All. Not at all.

You’ll see soon why this was all brushed under the rug.-

Benoit was married twice.

His first wife, Martina, and he had two children David (who is a wrestler as well) and Megan. By 1997, their marriage had broken down and Benoit and Martina decided it was best to end it.

Benoit began living with his girlfriend, Nancy Sullivan, who was the girlfriend of Benoit’s frequent opponent, Kevin Sullivan.

(It started off as an on-screen relationship for views and it led to a real-life affair. Many people joke that Kevin Sullivan booked his own divorce.)

On February 25, 2000, Benoit and Nancy’s son, Daniel, was born.

On November 23, 2000, Benoit and Nancy were married.

This 👏🏼 was 👏🏼 not 👏🏼 a 👏🏼 good 👏🏼 marriage.

In 2003, Nancy filed for divorce from Benoit, saying he would break and throw furniture and was cruel to her. She later dropped the suit as well as the restraining order she had set against him.

Benoit became good friends with fellow wrestler Eddie Guerrero, (a beloved and incredible wrestler, one of my dad’s faves), following a match in Japan, when Benoit kicked Guerrero in the head and knocked him out cold. This started a friendship that lasted even after Guerrero's death in late 2005, in which Benoit had written diary entries to him just ten days after his passing.

(I’m only mentioning this because Guerrero’s death has been rumored to be one of the reasons Benoit did what he did.)

Here’s where it gets gory.

So we know Benoit and Nancy did not have a good marriage, but things seemed to be okay because she dropped all the charges against him.

Benoit and Nancy were living in Fayetteville, GA, with 7 year old Daniel.

On June 25, 2007, police entered the Benoit home after Benoit’s WWE employers requested a welfare check after Benoit missed weekend events without notice.

(Benoit was actually scheduled to win another title during these weekend events.)

Upon arriving at his Georgia home, authorities found Nancy wrapped in a towel. She had died from asphyxiation.

Their son was also found, also dead, apparently strangled. Benoit placed a Bible next to each of their bodies.

Benoit’s body was the most disturbing to be found. The wrestler was hanged on a lat pulldown machine, with a Bible lying on the weight machine beside him. There were also allegedly 10 empty beer cans and an empty bottle of wine.

Autopsies concluded the murders and suicide took place over the course of three days.

On Friday, June 22, Chris Benoit killed his wife Nancy in an upstairs bedroom. Her limbs were bound, and her body was wrapped in a towel. A copy of the bible was left by her body. Injuries indicated that Benoit had pressed a knee into her back while pulling on a cord around her neck, causing strangulation. Officials said that there were no signs of immediate struggle. Toxicologists did find alcohol in her system, but they were unable to determine if she had been drinking prior to her death or if it was a product of decomposition.

Daniel was suffocated and killed in his bedroom, and a copy of the bible was left by his body. Daniel had internal injuries to the throat area, showing no bruises. Daniel's exact time of death is unknown. The reports determined Daniel was sedated with Xanax and likely unconscious when he was killed. Daniel's body had also just started to show signs of decomposition but was not as far along as his mother's body, so they were able to determine he was murdered after his mother.

(It was later alleged that Daniel had Fragile X syndrome, a genetic disorder that is characterized by mild to moderate intellectual disability. Physical features may include a long and narrow face, large ears, flexible fingers, and large testicles. About a third of those affected have features of autism such as problems with social interactions and delayed speech. Males are affected more than females. Daniel also had needle marks in his arm and it’s alleged that these were the result of growth hormones given to him because Benoit and his family considered him to be undersized.)

Chris Benoit committed suicide by hanging. Benoit used a weight machine cord to hang himself by creating a noose from the end of the cord on a pull-down machine from which the bar had been removed. Benoit released the weights, causing his strangulation. Benoit was found hanging from the pulley cable.

(On a podcast called The Talk is Jericho in 2016, Nancy’s sister Sandra Toffoloni divulged some more information. She said Benoit’s internet search history showed he had searched “the quickest and easiest way to break a neck”. Benoit had a towel wrapped around his neck when he committed suicide and his neck was broken instantly.)

A suicide note was not discovered, but a note written in one of the bibles Benoit had said, “I’m preparing to leave this Earth.”

A few possible motives I’ve seen people mention have included:

•CTE - Chronic traumatic encephalopathy is a neurodegenerative disease caused by repeated head injuries. Symptoms do not typically begin until years after the injuries and can include behavioral problems, mood problems, and problems with thinking. During his autopsy, it was concluded that Benoit did suffer from CTE after wrestling for so many years. (Back when they threw people from tops of cages, hit each other over the head with chairs and ladders, etc.) Autopsy experts say Benoit’s brain was so severely damaged that it resembled a 85 year old Alzheimer’s patient.

•Nancy’s abuse and filing for divorce - In February 2008, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported that Benoit was having an affair with a female WWE wrestler and Nancy found out. It was also speculated they argued over life insurance policies.

•Benoit’s alcohol abuse - Benoit abused steroids, but many people believe it was his alcohol abuse that led to these horrific murders. Many of Benoit’s colleagues attested he would drink more when problems with Nancy occurred.

•Eddie Guerrero’s death - Benoit and Guerrero and Benoit were very close. When it came out that Guerrero has died in his hotel room in November of 2005, Benoit was devastated. WWE held a televised memorial for Guerrero and when Benoit was giving his testimony, he broke down in front of the camera. Some of Benoit’s colleagues say, “he was never the same” after Guerrero’s death.

But at the expense of sounding completely heartless, (mind you, I’ve been suicidal myself), why didn’t he just commit suicide?

Why did he have to murder his wife and seven year old son? If we go with the CTE theory, it makes sense because he was not thinking rationally.

I wish Nancy had had the strength to leave him when she tried.

The night after Benoit’s body was found, WWE Raw had a televised memorial for him and his family with Vince McMahon standing in the middle of the ring breaking the news and a video montage.

No one knew he was the one who had killed his family.

When it was later revealed that Benoit had committed these crimes the episode was removed and WWE made the decision to remove nearly all mention of Benoit from their website, future publications, video games, merchandise, DVD/Blu-Rays, and future events.

Like I said.. swept him under the rug.

Benoit is now the “He Who Shall Not Be Named” of professional wrestling.

In ending this, I’d like to quote Stone Cold Steve Austin now.

“Well first and foremost, what I think about Chris Benoit is that guy was one of the most nicest guys I ever met in my life. He’s one of the most talented, hard working cats I’d ever seen in the squared circle. Anybody who knew Chris would tell you those exact two things. That guy loved the damn wrestling business, he was born to be a wrestler and was absolutely phenomenal. Drawing a lot of his influence from The Dynamite Kid, he blazed a path as the Pegasus Kid and his legacy as The Crippler Chris Benoit was just one hellacious career.

“One night, Chris ended up killing his wife and his kid. That is an act so terrible and horrible I can’t even comprehend or guess as to what happened in that house. That will always overshadow any accomplishment Chris had in the ring. He’ll never be in the Hall of Fame, it will just never happen. His career will speak for itself but his record as a human being, his first and foremost, and those actions will never be forgotten. That’s my feelings on that, we don’t even need to talk about the Hall of Fame. Speaking for myself, Chris Benoit as the person I knew, loved him. Chris Benoit as a wrestler, loved him. Chris Benoit as the person who did what he did, unforgivable. Bottom line.” – via NoDQ.com.

Pictured below are Chris and Nancy Benoit, their son Daniel, and their home in Fayetteville, Georgia.

[nightcoremoon]

weird opinion but christians aren't religious.

ok so like, jews generally follow god's rules, muslims follow allah's rules, hindus probably follow their gods rules, so on and so forth. and overall they do it out of faith; they do it because they want to honor the deity who loves them rather than because society forces them to.

granted the zionists and the radical extremists and the zealots do exist but as loud minorities and thus are statistical outliers & don't matter.

christians are... a different breed.

"if you aren't x branch and dont obey y rules you'll go to hell so we'll fucking murder you" is pretty much the main driving force behind a significant portion of christianity in history. the catholics, the protestants, the orthodoxy, all are built on a foundation of fear, anger, and hatred. it's shaped the way society developed; in the 4 nations that did the most genocidal imperialist colonialism- England, France, Spain, and Italy- a combination of convenient coastal locations, naval prowess, military tendency, christianity, and ultranationalism lead them down a path of missionaries, holding bibles in one hand and bloodstained knives in the other. the religion is inseparable from the culture and inseparable from the horrible things done in the name of their god, and the resulting cancers of society we feel today from the campaigns of slaughter. xenophobia. capitalism. savage barbarism via sensationalized capitol punishment. misogyny. queerphobia. gender fascism. classism. racism. all of these issues in the "civilized world" stem predominantly from those four nations and the disease ridden pestilent filth some call pilgrims.

here's something interesting:

there are less than 1 million rastafari in the world.

there are less than 5 million shinto in the world.

there are less than 25 million jews in the world.

there are less than 30 million sikhs in the world.

there are roughly 100 million african cultural religious adherents in the world.

there are less than 400 million chinese cultural religious adherents in the world.

there are about 500 million buddhists in the world.

there are about 1.1 billion hindus in the world.

there are about 1.2 billion nonreligious people in the world.

there are 1.6 billion muslims in the world.

and one final statistic

there are over 2.1 billion christians in the world.

the jewish count is a highball, rounded up, and includes several different definitions of jewish including people who are only one quarter. so for every single person who is even remotely jewish, there are more than 8 christians. for every hindu, there are 4 christians. for every atheist, agnostic, or "other", 2 christians. this frightening statistic should set off warning bells for everyone who is involved in a discussion about religion. and anyone who knows BASIC world history and can correlate data at all can probably piece together what I'm putting down.

now, I may be slightly biased here considering my eclectic religious beliefs. now, I personally believe that there is some primary force of energy that may or may not manifest itself as a humanoid being, that engineered the most basic laws of physics in the universe: atomic magnetism. as can be inferred by planck's constant and its implications, our universe is digital, written in binary. an electron either moves or doesn't move. there are no other options. so I genuinely believe in some form of intelligent design; whether it's a bearded guy on a cloud, some dude with six arms and an elephant for a face, just a big swirling pool of ectoplasm, or a big ol' plate of spaghetti and meatballs, something is out there that we are physically incapable of contacting from our plane of existence, just as a drawing on a piece of paper cannot reach out to interact with the world: a gif will move on its own but it will never acknowledge our existence, even if it could think by itself. and all the different mythologies of the world- egyptian, greek, norse, shinto, whatever- very well could be the agents of that unknown "god". perhaps anubis, ra, and bastet are just angels with animal heads that all of the peoples of ancient egypt saw and were like oh I guess this must be a god. maybe zeus and loki were the same person with a magic dick who fucked a bunch of animals in both greece and the scandinavian countries and spawned all of the horrible half-animal monstrosities that, idk, made vishnu think "well I have to kill that" and caused the biblical flood or something. maybe the jewish god gifted wisdom to siddhartha for sitting under a fig tree for 6 years through the angel pomona [roman goddess of fruit, had to google that one], so buddha gets his wisdom from demeter and is in nirvana right now right a step up from hades on yggdrasil the world tree keeping an eye on his charge persephone. any theory could theoretically be true but we ants of humans will never fucking know because we can't just point a telescope at the magellanic clouds and say "look, there's amaterasu with russell's teapot, and she's having tea with... *rubs eyes* lemmy kilmister??? wow I guess gods are real after all!" it's impossible to know the secrets of our universe because of the very restrictive nature of the universe itself. is it a circle? is it a donut? WE DONT FUCKIN KNOW.

we cannot know what religion is truthful.

""anyone who says that any one religion is more or less true than any other is a fucking moron, and if they're suggesting that White Western European Colonial Imperialist Protestantism is the one true faith, they're probably a fucking racist colonizer who beats his wife/sister and burns gays at the stake. and considering how that exact demographic is typically the one that murdered people for not converting to their religion, I don't think they have the intellectual non-deranged ability to make those logical connections.

again, I'm not saying that there AREN'T a lot of people of every religion who are evil assholes who contributed to mass genocide. israelites killed palestinians. shiites killed sunnis. hutus killed tutsis. danes killed geats. turks killed armenians. the ottoman empire has as much blood on its hands as the holy roman empire. germans who called themselves aryans but weren't actually aryan killed jews. but all of these tragedies were isolated incidents rather than repeated patterns over the course of two thousand years. not like christianity was and is.

just look at the United States, Canada, Mexico, Hong Kong, South Africa, Australia, & India's British Raj. Britain, France, Spain, and Italy, by extension Protestantism and Catholicism, are the shared factor between the long and bloody history fraught with massacring indigenous populations who wouldn't convert religions. native americans, indigenous canadians, latin americans but predominantly mexicans, the eastern chinese, coastal africans, aborigine aussies, indians- coastal coastal coastal. true the western chinese and the mongols/hunnu and xinjiang muslims haven't exactly been on civil terms and the silk road has always been a battleground and the middle east was already tenuous before murrica bombed them for oil but those happened in such a spread out area among asia which is FUCKING HUGE, MIND YOU! but also that's three high traffic places with massive diversity, it's human nature to have conflict, but not nearly to the same level as all of the shit christianity has done to the world. it's impossible to separate the religion from the cultures; victorian england without protestantism is just dirty people who die at 15 from having their 3rd child. italy without the catholicism is just grass and cheese. france and spain without religion are just kingdoms that fought wars with england for forever and now just make food that's one part delicious and three parts horrifying. religion is directly responsible for a significant portion of the evils those countries committed. one religion in particular.

they don't practice religion the same way as the rest do. they aren't faithful to their god. they don't follow his rules out of love but out of fear. they execute dissenters without a second thought, heresy they cry. they execute women and little girls for being free thinking or having sickness associated with mercury poisoning in the water, witch they cry. they slaughter men women and kids alike in the name of cramming their beliefs down the natives throats, we're chasing out the snakes they cry, we're bringing god to your godless people they cry, we're just civilizing you they cry. they shit in the streets and proudly display rotting corpses and leave the impoverished disabled and starving to die alone and whip their slaves and rape teenage girls and scrap in the streets while sopping wet with spilled ale over insignificant insults and stab people to death in the night and never even fucking BATHE, and they have the nerve to say the natives were uncivilized. the nerve. because hey. they read a magic book they stole from a culture who stole from another culture who stole from another culture, mistranslating each time from hebrew to greek to italian to english, and they think they're better because their skin is white.

christians never evolved. their mentalities have stayed the same. all thatms advanced has been technology. that's it. they're still the same evil disgusting degenerate bastards they always were. they just have the money they stole to buy stained glass windows, rosary beads, giant tacky metal statues, bigass robes, leather, and printing presses. and as time passed they used the money they continued to steal to buy cars and websites and radio stations and commit felony tax evasion and secretly molest children and line the pockets of the politicians.

all of their holidays are stolen from pagans anyway.

so fuck christmas. fuck easter. fuck lent. fuck the golden calf christian holidays that the tiny minded fragile snowflake conservatives lose their collective shit over because the pandemic response common sense stipulations won't let them buy the shit they can't afford with money they shouldn't have for people they don't even LIKE, all in the name of tradition, tradition! the rituals that worship something so much worse than satan or baphomet or pan or whatever: the dollar. they buy all the new shiny shit they can, at the expense of the chinese kids that the corporate pigs outsource to, buy the pine trees and the coca cola vunderbar and the fake mint corn syrup Js and watch the same shitty cookie cutter white supremacist hallmark fash movies and stuff their kids full of enough sugar to go into a goddamn coma when the african slaves who pick the cocoa beans will never get to know what actually being a kid will ever feel like because they're gonna die from falling into a combine harvester and be eternally forgotten to history and no christian will ever give a shit because they don't fucking care about what they don't see on their safe space news or hear on their safe space radio or read on their safe space social media. they think their worst sin is eating cheeseburgers so instead they'll go eat a mcchicken or chick fil a or an arby's chicken sandwich instead but not at popeyes because "that place is sketchy" and by that they mean they don't wanna eat where black people eat, that's why cracker barrel was so popular for so many white christians for so long because it had racially segregated seating until barely 20 years ago.

they don't love jesus. they love a paper doll they shove into their back pockets until every other sunday where they go to a fucking mall with a baptism waterslide and raise their hands like a bunch of dumbass weirdos and away to adult contemporary indie schlock with the word jesus pasted into a boring-ass hetero romance song, pat themselves on the back, then go to starbucks to scream slurs and misgenderings at 14 year old starbucks baristas who give them a cappamochalattechino instead of a fucking carmamochalattechino because you mumbled under the mask you didn't even fucking cover your nose with because you don't give a shit about the virus beyond how it inconveniences you.

they are horrible people who pretend to be good. until you suggest the slightest infinitely small inconvenience to them that would alter their holiday plans even the littlest smidge. then they would kill you if not for the police. don't get me started on them because you know by now what I'd say about those fuckers. but they'll gladly wear shirts about how they'll kill you. how they'll go back 200 years. how they'll murder you and watch you slowly suffer because their primate brains shoot a million endorphins when they watch things die by their hands because they never evolved a sense of empathy, compassion, or morality beyond how wearing a cross necklace will remove any of the consequences they will face in their afterlife.

they are horrible people who pretend to be good. unless you're gay or black or trans or Not Christian™ or mexican or disagree with them about politics economics sociology science technology music or movies. assimilate or die. assimilate or die. assimilate or die.

they don't deserve special treatment for their false idols.

they aren't better than jews or muslims.

they're worse.

so much worse.

and they should be stopped.""

-Nightingale Quietioca

save as draft arch draft bookmark draft where did I put my keys contra code kontra kode I need to remember this and copy it buzzwords keywords find it later please god tumblr don't bork on me this is good stream of consciousness repackage repackage change the words this is a great character study if I do say so myself thanks 3am me you're welcome 3am me

[adventuresofarainbowcrip]

Hi! Bonjour!

I’ve never written a blog before. I guess I’ll just start by introducing myself. My name is Nirvana. I am a 30-year-old queer disabled cis white woman. “Rainbow” is because I identify as queer and love rainbows anyway! “Crip” refers to the word “cripple”, which was historically used as a derogatory term for disabled people, but is now being reclaimed by many disabled people as a positive term, similarly to the word “queer” for LGBTQ+ folks. I live in Portland, Oregon in the United States. I have cerebral palsy (spastic diplegia specifically). This means that I have difficulty with balance, movement and coordination. My muscles have spasticity in them all the time - even when I am at rest. I can’t walk unaided but I use canes for short distances and a walker for longer ones. I get tired faster than an able-bodied person. I use an electric scooter to get around the city on the bus. It’s been over a year since I rode the bus because COVID happened but I look forward to maybe taking the bus again later this year! I graduated with my Masters in French last June and now I have a job I enjoy teaching French to kids (online for now). I love French and am fascinated by languages in general. Some things I love : rainbows, pizza, doughnuts, laughing, owls and cats. 

  I am about to move out of my family home for the first time soon. Right now, I live with my two moms, my two brothers, one of my grandmothers and a cat! I am moving into a low-income apartment only 8 blocks away from my family, with one of my brothers who will soon be 26. I wanted to start this blog because when I started this apartment process in early March, I tried researching “moving out with a disability” or “living independently with a disability” but wasn’t finding much. I found a few resources written for parents or caregivers of disabled children or disabled people, talking about what they could expect for the future. There were a few videos that I found about people with physical and /or intellectual disabilities living independently. But not much first-person documentation of how it is to live independently, from THEIR perspective. 

Before I continue, I would like to clarify that I have a physical disability as well as anxiety, and have experienced an episode of severe OCD in the past. (I consider mental illness to be a type of disability).However, I do not have any type of intellectual disability. I am only one person with one point of view. But I want to share my experience so that it may help others in a similar situation. I believe that anyone, if they want to and can, regardless of their disability, should be able to live independently - whatever that means for them. Independence looks different for different people, and can change during their lifetime. Independence does not mean “doing every single thing by yourself.” That is a societal idea of independence. I used to think that was what independence was. But now I see things differently. It took me a long while to get to that point, and sometimes I still get caught up in this idea. Now independence has a much broader meaning to me. For many disabled people, myself included, independence means doing some by ourselves and being able to ask for and get help for things that are difficult. Don’t get me wrong - I love doing certain things on my own but some things I can’t do by myself or would be much harder if I did them without help. Knowing my own limits and asking for help if I need it are part of independence to me.

This blog will focus on my experiences, process and adventures of moving out with a physical disability. I’ll also probably talk about being queer and disabled, travelling with a disability and other random things! I hope that if you are disabled, then reading about my experiences will help you. And if you are not disabled, then maybe you will learn some about one disabled person’s experience. Enjoy!

[khangowrites]

Is it a Complaint Essay or is the Workplace Unsuitable?

Ah, what am I writing today? Oh, well I suppose it’s almost 12am. Seems like a good a time as any. I wanted to just jot down a few re-occurring experiences I’ve had in the workplace and sometimes in other social spaces, and attempt to analyze them.

CW: mild mentions of abuse and bodily ailments.

A bit of forward: I tend to mask myself heavily whenever I am in any social situation; whether it be at work, at home, with friends or online (although I’m getting better at being myself on Discord at least. I owe a lot to my friends who accept me and whom I care so much about.) What this means is I often plan out what I’m needed to say in advance of a situation. I have an arsenal of about 5 minutes of small talk before I tank and several small greetings/placations I can cycle through on any given day if I’m not overloaded. I also limit my natural inclination to movement.

It’s called unprofessional/unsightly to sit with your legs folded under you, or to sway and shake your arms and legs back and forth in time to music in your head. But it’s okay if you tap your pencil. Everyone does that.

I have to wonder how noticeable my ‘masked’ self is. How real or fake it appears.

There have been a few trends I’ve seen with the way people treat me as an employee in the time I’ve been in the workforce. For clarity, I am a 23 year old 5’1” AFAB person with a face that looks like it stopped aging when I was 12. I’m non-binary, but I’ve seen that many have a hard time using a different pronoun for me because I look ‘so feminine’. I had one old man repeatedly tell me that my body was too pretty and that I shouldn’t hide it and ‘pretend’ to be something else. I was and still am quite unsettled and disgusted by that comment.

I haven’t used my full preferred pronouns at work simply based in fear of being fired or discriminated against further. Same thing at home- I haven’t told all my family out of fear. I may look back on this at some future date where I fully respect myself and I’m confident. I look forward to that day.

Oh, and I’m autistic.

Perhaps it is one of these things or all of them that cause people to treat me certain ways. I’d like to find out.

I worked outdoors at an Orchard for a season. They called me Cinderella because of the way I looked when I cleaned. They gave employees gloves and heaters. Only not me. When I asked, I was given a broken one and told to fix it. A coworker who had intellectual disabilities and poor eyesight was not offered a heater at all. I did not renew for the next season. Kim and I stayed in touch though.

I worked next at a gift shop at a historical site. I loved the history and the old buildings, but the cashier work was admittedly difficult. Most of the employees were kind, retired old ladies who treated me gently, like a child. Sometimes too much like a child. The assistant manager seemed wary of me, and she often avoided me. I don’t know why. I’m not good with eye contact, and I always fear that people will mistake my zoning out as being creepy or disrespectful; maybe it was that. She never brought her kids with her on days I worked.

The head manager was courteous, but always called me Special. We had an older man work in the last 2 years I was there who had a strong inclination to associate with the children at the shop, and in turn, me as well. He would always want a hug or pat me on the back, but ignored the other workers. I told the managers my uncomfortable feelings about him, but it went mostly unnoticed.

When it was found that I was decent with computers, I was tasked with entering jewelry into the system and creating labels with number associations. I enjoyed it, and they promised me a decent raise. My pay was raised a dollar several weeks later, and I found myself being tasked with more and more computer work, to the point of becoming an office manager myself, earning a grand total of 9 dollars an hour while my counterpart who started a year earlier owned a home on the same work.

I left that job after 4 years to be the music director at a local church. I love music and was excited. Maybe too excited. I developed acid re-flux and was hospitalized the week before my start day due to a panic attack. I realize now it was from stress. I also had an ovarian cyst removed a year later- it took up my entire pelvis and its formation was also attributed to stress. I’ve since been diagnosed with generalized anxiety, and I continue to have ever changing digestive issues, muscle problems and panic attacks.

After realizing I was autistic and also non-binary, so much of the stress of life started to make sense. The past few months I have been making life changes, and working towards finding a workplace that is accommodating and safe for me. My stress has lessened.

I worked at the church for 2 years. My last day is actually at the end of this month. As is the trend, I was not treated with respect when it came to my job. My pastor started choosing the hymns over me, and would make comments about me during services. His favorite was to say that my music made him fall asleep, and wait for laughter from the congregation. He had no musical knowledge, and forced me to play every song as fast as I possibly could. He didn’t believe I could do my job. Any attempts at mutual work failed to manifest. I unfortunately was groomed by a member of the hiring committee there as well, a type of abuse I didn’t even realize I had fallen into until several months after it was too late.

I currently work at a high school as a choir accompanist. I use she/they pronouns there, but no one uses they and I’m too worried to be fully they like I am outside of work. I am wary of soiling my relationship with the director further. She’s quite religious in the ‘gays don’t have rights’ way, so I have my fears.

The director is kind, but sees me as this innocent child that happens to have natural piano abilities, and the mutual respect that I’ve come to dream of just isn’t there again.

The director has the key to the doors and lets students in without fail, but conveniently forgets to let me in almost every day. At one time, I was in physical therapy and had a hard time standing and walking for any period of time. I almost went home because she didn’t answer any communication, class started 20 minutes previously, and it was 90 degrees outside and I needed to sit down because my legs were cramping. She plans the music weeks in advance, but doesn’t give them to me until the day the students get it, despite my repeated asking for time to prepare.

One day I was on zoom and she and the student teacher greeted me and then ignored my presence and played the piano herself for class. She struggled with the parts and commented to the choir that, “wow, Ms. Khango is actually pretty dang good at this- that little girl can play!”, but didn’t listen to me when I offered to play. I left the zoom after an hour.

The online students seemed to share my surprise at least, and I am grateful to them. They kept me grounded and reminded me that I matter and should have the same respect as everyone else in the room, zoom or not. They talk to me about not being heard and their chats not being read during class. It bothered me, too. The next week I brought it up to her in the form of making sure the zoom students were heard and she quickly dismissed it, like it was a puff of smoke. The students online now ask me questions directly and I relay them. It’s met with annoyance by the director.

They have voices too.

One of the scariest moments of my life was last week- I wore my ‘disability rights are human rights’ shirt to school. (Okay, maybe not scary to some, but it very much was for me.) After class, one of the students came to me and asked if I could help him find a way for his grandfather to get a seat at the concert, as he was disabled and he didn’t know how to proceed.

It filled me with joy to help him, and it filled me with rage when the teachers asked if his grandpa could just get out of the wheelchair instead.

My overall conclusion to all of these things is that people simply don’t understand, or don’t want to because it makes their lives harder.

Is discrimination and ignorance really easier than respecting people?

I’m not sure if this is all just one big complaint essay. I guess it is. What I needed to do was write it all out. All the things that make me uneasy or feel like lesser of a person. And I wanted to know why.

I note that at every job I am perceived as a child, or as someone naïve. I am not treated the same as another adult employee. I was ostracized for my way of moving and talking. Taken advantage of. My needs were not accommodated.

Even now, I feel guilt for writing this, like I’m just playing the victim for attention or something.

I want to be strong enough to stand up to it and ask to be treated with respect and have it follow through.

I want to unmask myself more and let myself move and talk naturally, and use my real pronouns.

My respect for myself and for others must become a powerful force.

My friends on discord- my real, genuine friends, have become monumental in my life. Most of my life I did not have true friends. Without them and their unconditional love and support, I would not be where I am right now. We are all equals. I want to embody that strong respect and bring it to others.

It’s getting late. 1 a.m. now. Well, I have tomorrow. Plenty of time for Star Trek.

[parabelled]

My (Updated) Masterpost for Asexuality [2020]:

Some Youtube Videos I found Really Lovely and Validating:

Debunking Asexual and Aromantic Myths

Ace-Spec and Are-Spectrum Book Recommendations

And Some LGBTQIA+ Channels That Bring Up Asexual Experiences:

Rowan Ellis

Problems of a Book Nerd

Jessica Kellgren-Fozard

Some Shows with Confirmed Asexual Characters:

Sex Education

Bojack Horseman

Liv in ‘Emmerdale’ (UK Soap)

Historical Asexuals/ Demisexuals:

Emily Brontë: Emily Brontë was a very private person and as such it’s impossible to be entirely certain of her sexual orientation. Some Brontë scholars believe she died a virgin, never having had physical relationships with men or women. However, most Brontë scholars think that the content of her novels would suggest she may have been asexual, but she was not aromantic.

J.M. Barrie: The man who wrote Peter Pan into existence, was reportedly asexual. His marriage was never consummated and ended in divorce when his wife cheated on him. Because of his relationship with his neighbor children, and the subject matter of his books, some speculated Barrie was prone to pedophilia. Those who knew him closely vehemently deny Barrie ever exhibited such behavior. Instead his lack of sexual relationships was more likely due to his asexuality.

George Bernard Shaw: Renowned playwright George Bernard Shaw was a man far more interested in intellect than sex. He never consummated his marriage (also at the request of his wife, Charlotte Frances Payne-Townshend) and was a virgin until 29. Shaw told friends he appreciated the ability of sex to produce “a celestial flood of emotion and exaltation” but only as it compared to the “conscious intellectual activity” he strove for with his work.

Isaac Newton: Isaac Newton’s supposed asexuality is based on his recorded behavior and lifestyle. He had strict religious views, never married, was obsessive in his scientific careers, and supposedly died a virgin. Whether he truly lacked sexual attraction or was simply too immersed in making massive scientific discoveries to have a sex life is unsure.

T.E. Lawrence: Tragically, T.E. Lawrence – a man immortalized in the film Lawrence of Arabia – was sexually assaulted while held prisoner during The Great War. His lack of sexual and romantic relationships in life were mostly attributed to this trauma but some scholars argue he may have been asexual. He had no documented relationships with men or women. Most notably, since it was the turn of the 20th century, Lawrence was known to be non-judgmental of homosexuals. His personal orientation may have motivated his tolerance.

Florence Nightingale: Interestingly, though “the Florence Nightingale effect” is a situation where a caregiver develops an attraction to the patient they are caring for, the effect’s namesake, Florence Nightingale, was likely asexual. The famous nurse never married and instead chose to devote her life entirely to her work. She even refused a marriage proposal from a suitor who had been pursuing her for years. Nightingale rarely discussed her personal life and the term “asexual” was not widely used at the time, but asexual activists and scholars strongly suspect she lacked sexual interest.

Nikola Tesla: Nikola Tesla, the revolutionary engineer who was instrumental in the invention of electricity, also lived a life of celibacy typical of asexuals. He showed very little interest in sexual relationships throughout his life, preferring to focus on science. Many asexuals describe their lack of attraction as a blessing allowing them sharp focus. Once again, we have a person who could have been too busy (and brilliant) to focus on relationships, but who’s asexuality likely allowed him to be busy (and brilliant). [Fun fact: I am actually related to ol’Nikola. Sometimes it’s nice to even think about someone in my family being asexual, because it makes me feel like we’d both be able to get along together when we get fixed in our little studies, research, and schemes ♥]

Frederic Chopin: Famed composer and pianist Frederic Chopin is supposed to also have been asexual. While he lived with writer George Sand, she noted in her biography that their connection was affectionate without being sexual. She described their affair as “eight years of maternal devotion,“ also noting, “He seemed to despise the courser side of human nature and…to fear to soil our love by further ecstasy.”Whether Chopin was uninterested in sex, or had reservations about consummating the relationship for other reasons, is unclear. Many scholars believe the famed pianist lacked sexual desire altogether.

John Ruskin: Victorian art critic John Ruskin was known to be particularly uninterested in sex. Though Ruskin was once married, he reportedly showed no interest in getting physical with his wife. Typical of other asexuals on this list, his marriage ended having never been consummated.

Young Adult Fiction/ Books about Asexuality (NOTE: Some of these are coming out later this year, August and September 2020):

How to be Ace: A Memoir of Growing Up Asexual by Rebecca Burgess: Brave, witty and empowering, this graphic memoir follows Rebecca as she navigates her asexual identity and mental health in a world obsessed with sex. From school to work to relationships, this book offers an unparalleled insight into asexuality.

Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, And The Meaning Of Sex by Angela Chen: An engaging exploration of what it means to be asexual in a world that’s obsessed with sexual attraction, and what the ace perspective can teach all of us about desire and identity. What exactly is sexual attraction and what is it like to go through life not experiencing it? What does asexuality reveal about gender roles, about romance and consent, and the pressures of society? This accessible examination of asexuality shows that the issues that aces face–confusion around sexual activity, the intersection of sexuality and identity, navigating different needs in relationships–are the same conflicts that nearly all of us will experience. Through a blend of reporting, cultural criticism, and memoir, the misconceptions around the “A” of LGBTQIA and invites everyone to rethink pleasure and intimacy.Journalist Angela Chen creates her path to understanding her own asexuality with the perspectives of a diverse group of asexual people. Vulnerable and honest, these stories include a woman who had blood tests done because she was convinced that “not wanting sex” was a sign of serious illness, and a man who grew up in a religious household and did everything “right,” only to realize after marriage that his experience of sexuality had never been the same as that of others. Disabled aces, aces of color, gender-nonconforming aces, and aces who both do and don’t want romantic relationships all share their experiences navigating a society in which a lack of sexual attraction is considered abnormal. Chen’s careful cultural analysis explores how societal norms limit understanding of sex and relationships and celebrates the breadth of sexuality and queerness.

Let’s Talk About Love by Claire Kann: Alice’s last girlfriend, Margo, ended things when Alice confessed she’s asexual. Now Alice is sure she’s done with dating… and then she meets Takumi. She can’t stop thinking about him or the rom-com-grade romance feelings she did not ask for. When her blissful summer takes an unexpected turn and Takumi becomes her knight with a shiny library-employee badge, Alice has to decide if she’s willing to risk their friendship for a love that might not be reciprocated– or understood. [A bisexual POC protagonist; adorable fluffy, easy and sweet read].

All Out: The No-longer-secret Stories of Queer Teens Throughout the Ages: Take a journey through time and genres and discover a past where queer figures live, love, and shape the world around them. Seventeen of the best young adult authors across the queer spectrum have come together to create a collection of beautifully written diverse historical fiction for teens. [This features several different types of queer stories, from transexual freedom fighters, but also a very sweet asexual love story set in a seventies roller rink with a POC protagonist].

The Pride Guide: A Guide to Sexual and Social Health for LGBTQ Youth by Jo Lanford: Jo Langford offers a complete guide to sexual and social development, safety, and health for LGBTQ youth and those who love and support them. Written from a practical perspective, the author explores the realities of teen sexuality, particularly that of trans teens, and provides guidance and understanding for parents and kids alike. [Although this is a little rudimentary, I found it a great resource even in my twenties for someone coming out, or to slowly but carefully come out to those who may be uncomfortable or not understand asexuality, or not see it as a valid sexuality or lack thereof].

Tash Hearts Tolstoy by Katie Ormsbee: Natasha ‘Tash’ Zelenka has found herself and her amateur web series plucked from obscurity and thrust in the limelight. And who wouldn’t want fame and fortune? But along with the 40,000 new subscribers, the gushing tweets, and flashing Tumblr gifs, comes the pressure to deliver the best web series ever. As Tash struggles to combat the critics and her own doubts, she finds herself butting heads with her family and friends - the ones that helped make her show, Unhappy Families (a modern adaption of Anna Karenina, written by Tash’s eternal love Leo Tolstoy), what it is today. And when Unhappy Families is nominated for a prestigious award, Tash’s confusing cyber-flirtation with an Internet celeb suddenly has the potential to become something IRL if she can figure out how to tell him that she’s a romantic asexual. But her new relationship creates tension with her friend Paul since he thought Tash wasn’t interested in relationships ever. All Tash wants to think about is the upcoming award ceremony in Orlando, even though she’ll have to face all the friends she steamrolled to get there. But isn’t that just the price you pay for success?

Every Heart a Doorway by Seanan McGuire: The story is set in a boarding school for teenagers who have passed through "doorways” into fantasy worlds only to be evicted back into the real world. It serves as something of a recovery center for boarders who find they no longer fit in, either in the “real” world or their own uncomprehending families. For a fortunate few it is just a way station until they can find their ways back to the worlds they do fit into; for others, it’s the least bleak choice in what may be a life-long exile. This unhappy ending for the students takes a terrifying turn when some of their number start turning up dead. A small group joins together in an attempt to expose the person committing these murders before it is too late to save the school, or even themselves.

The Invisible Orientation: An Introduction to Asexuality by Julie Sondra Decker: What if you weren’t sexually attracted to anyone?A growing number of people are identifying as asexual. They aren’t sexually attracted to anyone, and they consider it a sexual orientation—like gay, straight, or bisexual.Asexuality is the invisible orientation. Most people believe that “everyone” wants sex, that “everyone” understands what it means to be attracted to other people, and that “everyone” wants to date and mate. But that’s where asexual people are left out—they don’t find other people sexually attractive, and if and when they say so, they are very rarely treated as though that’s okay.When an asexual person comes out, alarming reactions regularly follow; loved ones fear that an asexual person is sick, or psychologically warped, or suffering from abuse. Critics confront asexual people with accusations of following a fad, hiding homosexuality, or making excuses for romantic failures. And all of this contributes to a discouraging master narrative: there is no such thing as “asexual.” Being an asexual person is a lie or an illness, and it needs to be fixed.In The Invisible Orientation, Julie Sondra Decker outlines what asexuality is, counters misconceptions, provides resources, and puts asexual people’s experiences in context as they move through a very sexualized world. It includes information for asexual people to help understand their orientation and what it means for their relationships, as well as tips and facts for those who want to understand their asexual friends and loved ones [A good beginning place to start if you’re considering your asexuality. Also provides reassurances about the most common stereotypes concerning asexuality].

Switchback by Danika Stone: Vale loves to hike, but kind of hates her classmates. Ash is okay with his classmates, but kind of hates the outdoors. So, needless to say they are both fairly certain that the overnight nature hike with their PE class is going to be a hellish experience. But when they get separated from the group during a storm, they have worse things to worry about than bullies and blisters.Lost in the Canadian wilderness with limited supplies, caught in dangerous weather conditions, and surrounded by deadly wildlife, it’s going to take every bit of strength, skill, and luck they can muster to survive.

Not Your Backup (Sidekick Squad #3) by C.B. Lee: Emma Robledo has a few more responsibilities that the usual high school senior, but then again, she and her friends have left school to lead a fractured Resistance movement against a corrupt Heroes League of Heroes. Emma is the only member of a supercharged team without powers, and she isn’t always taken seriously. A natural leader, Emma is determined to win this battle, and when that’s done, get back to school. As the Resistance moves to challenge the League, Emma realizes where her place is in this fight: at the front. [This is a third in a series, but the main character has recently come out as asexual at the end of the last book].

If It Makes You Happy by Claire Kann: Winnie is living her best fat girl life and is on her way to her favorite place—Misty Haven and her granny’s diner, Goldeen’s. With her family and ungirlfriend at her side, she has everything she needs for one last perfect summer before starting college in the fall.…until she becomes Misty Haven’s Summer Queen.Newly crowned, Winnie is forced to take center stage at a never-ending list of community royal engagements. Almost immediately, she discovers that she’s deathly afraid of it all: the spotlight, the obligations, and the way her Summer King wears his heart, humor, and honesty on his sleeve.To salvage her summer Winnie must conquer her fears, defy expectations, and be the best Winnie she knows she can be—regardless of what anyone else thinks of her. [Another POC protagonist and promises to be a cute summer read in the vein of Gilmore Girls. Claire Kann’s first book was the adorable ‘Lets Talk About Love’ which reads as an asexual rom-com. This also promises to be absolutely precious.].

Immoral Code by Lillian Clark: Ocean’s 8 meets The Breakfast Club in this fast-paced, multi-perspective story about five teens determined to hack into one billionaire absentee father’s company to steal tuition money.For Nari, aka Narioka Diane, aka hacker digital alter ego “d0l0s,” it’s college and then a career at “one of the big ones,” like Google or Apple. Keagan, her sweet, sensitive boyfriend, is happy to follow her wherever she may lead. Reese is an ace/aro visual artist with plans to travel the world. Santiago is off to Stanford on a diving scholarship, with very real Olympic hopes. And Bellamy? Physics genius Bellamy is admitted to MIT–but the student loan she’d been counting on is denied when it turns out her estranged father–one Robert Foster–is loaded. Nari isn’t about to let her friend’s dreams be squashed by a deadbeat billionaire, so she hatches a plan to steal just enough from Foster to allow Bellamy to achieve her goals.

Loveless by Alice Oseman: The fourth novel from the phenomenally talented Alice Oseman - one of the most authentic and talked-about voices in contemporary YA.It was all sinking in. I'd never had a crush on anyone. No boys, no girls, not a single person I had ever met. What did that mean? Georgia has never been in love, never kissed anyone, never even had a crush -  but as a fanfic-obsessed romantic she's sure she'll find her person one day. As she starts university with her best friends, Pip and Jason, in a whole new town far from home, Georgia's ready to find romance, and with her outgoing roommate on her side and a place in the Shakespeare Society, her 'teenage dream' is in sight. But when her romance plan wreaks havoc amongst her friends, Georgia ends up in her own comedy of errors, and she starts to question why love seems so easy for other people but not for her. With new terms thrown at her - asexual, aromantic -  Georgia is more uncertain about her feelings than ever. Is she destined to remain loveless? Or has she been looking for the wrong thing all along? This wise, warm and witty story of identity and self-acceptance sees Alice Oseman on towering form as Georgia and her friends discover that true love isn't limited to romance.

The Last Eight by Laura Pohl: Extinction was just the beginning in this thrilling, post-apocalyptic debut, perfect for fans of The 5th Wave series. Clover Martinez has always been a survivor, which is the reason she isn’t among the dead when aliens invade and destroy Earth as she knows it.Clover is convinced she’s the only one left until she hears a voice on the radio urging her to go to the former Area 51. When she arrives, she’s greeted by a band of misfits who call themselves The Last Teenagers on Earth.Only they aren’t the ragtag group of heroes Clover was expecting. The seven strangers seem more interested in pretending the world didn’t end than fighting back, and Clover starts to wonder if she was better off alone. But when she finds a hidden spaceship within the walls of the compound, she doesn’t know what to believe…or who to trust. [I’ve read there is also aromantic representation in this book too, so helpful for the Aros out there as well ♥]

LGBTQIA+ Comics with Possible Asexual Representation/ Influence:

Lumberjanes: At Miss Qiunzella Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hardcore Lady Types, things are not what they seem. Three-eyed foxes. Secret caves. Anagrams. Luckily, Jo, April, Mal, Molly, and Ripley are five rad, butt-kicking best pals determined to have an awesome summer together…and they’re not gonna let a magical quest or an array of supernatural critters get in their way! [I LOVE THESE COMICS SO MUCH I SWEAR THEY’RE SO DAMN CUTE ♥]

The Backstagers: When Jory transfers to the private, all-boys school St. Genesius, he figures joining the stage crew would involve a lot of just fetching props and getting splinters. To his pleasant surprise, he discovers there’s a door backstage that leads to different worlds, and all of the stagehands know about it!All the world’s a stage…but what happens behind the curtain is pure magic!

And Lastly, Extra Online Resources For Asexuality:

UCLA LGBT Campus Resource Center: Asexuality

The Trevor Project on Asexuality

Campus Pride: Asexuality

The Canadian Centre for Gender Diversity and Awareness

Asexuality needs to be a recognized as its own, unique sexual orientation, Canadian experts say

Asexuality.org

A Lot of Ace (An Ace Positivity Blog on Tumblr ♥)

[kangwei18053060]

Annotated bibliography

PART I: Annotated bibliography

1.

British Association for Music Therapy (2020) What is music therapy? Available at: https://www.bamt.org/music-therapy/what-is-music-therapy.html

The first article in the list of annotated bibliography is the British Association for Music Therapy’s (BAMT) article on definition of music therapy.

As individuals, music assumes a central part in our personality, culture, legacy and beliefs. BAMT calls music a ground-breaking medium which can influence all of us in a profound manner. The article is useful in understanding the basic ideas related to music therapy. BAMT defines music therapy as an “established psychological clinical intervention”, which is conveyed by HCPC enrolled music therapists to help individuals whose lives have been influenced by injury, sickness or inability. The music therapists offer support to their mental, emotional, psychological, physical, communicative and social needs.

In music therapy, music specialists draw upon the intrinsic characteristics of music to help individuals from all ages and capacities and in different phases of life. It can be used to assist new conceived infants to create healthy relationship with their parents, to offer crucial, sensitive and humane palliative care to those who are at the end of their life.

Everybody reacts to music, and music treatment utilises this connection to encourage positive changes in one’s emotional wellbeing and correspondence by introducing live musical interaction engagement among therapist and client. It can help create and encourage relational abilities, develop self-confidence and autonomy, upgrade mindfulness and familiarity with others, improve attention and concentration.

The article is useful in understanding how music therapy works in layman’s terms. Since musical participation and reaction does not rely upon the capacity to talk, music therapy is a powerful clinical intercession for individuals who experience issues in verbal communication. For individuals influenced by disability, ailment or injury, working with music therapists can be groundbreaking. Children with autism are able to form emotional, social and communication abilities. Somebody with a brain injury as the aftereffect of a mishap can benefit from music therapy to recover their speech. Music therapists work as individuals from multi-disciplinary groups in healthcare, education or social care, or have their own private practice.

2.

Raglio, A., Attardo, L., Gontero, G., Rollino, S., Groppo, E. and Granieri, E. (2015) Effects of music and music therapy on mood in neurological patients, World journal of psychiatry, vol. 5, no. 1, p.68-78.

The days of parents asking children to turn down the music and focus on their homework might be over as more advances are made in the field of music therapy. Neurological illnesses are frequently connected with a several symptoms in one’s behaviour and psychology that are typically disregarded by neurologists on the grounds it that requires diagnostic techniques that contrast from those utilised for classical physical symptoms and are more appropriate in psychiatry field. Depression, tension, maniacal states, and disorders in thought and observation are some of the common psychiatric problems in neurology. In the past decades there has been a developing assemblage of proof in the utilisation of musical intervention taking place in clinical setting that is concerned to singing, listening to music, improvised creation in music, and other melodic exercises, insofar as more organised music therapy or MT treatment. Given that music engages in an assortment of cerebrum zones associated with feeling, motivation, discernment, and motor capacities, music interventions have been utilised to expand socialisation and intellectual, emotional, and neuromotor working.

Rehabilitative methodologies, for example, Neurologic Music Therapy (NMT) allude to neuroscientific models and essentially utilise the capability of melodic upgrades for activation of observation and production regions in the human mind, giving a progression of therapeutic applications to sensory, psychological, and motor dysfunctions that can occur due to issues in neurological areas. Utilising directive approach that is dependent on a progression of activities, NMT might be utilised, for instance, to improve stride and developments in patients who have suffered from post-stroke or have PD or language in people suffering from aphasia. With respect to the neurological problems, music therapy may advance functional recuperation and furthermore improve social and mental results, for example, motivation, inspiration, temperament, and depression.

Taking these into consideration, it will be interesting to the role of music therapy in the lives of student.

3.

Petra, K. and Humpal, M., eds. (2019) Early Childhood Music Therapy and Autism Spectrum Disorder, Second Edition, Supporting Children and Their Families. United States: Jessica Kingsley Publishers.

This book presents fourteen chapters by 14 US Music Therapists with broad experience of working with young people with autism. There is a solid accentuation on what is called evidence-based music therapy and there are numerous occurrences when the reader is advised this is the best way to deal with music therapy with kids with autism. The book is meticulously devoted to music therapists who use evidence-based practices to help small kids with autism issue and also support to their families. The book editors have also contributed towards the chapters.

The book is certainly a reference book that Music Therapists working with Autism Spectrum Disorder need to own. At the same time, Music Therapists outside the United States should know that numerous parts fundamentally about broad legislation with respect to ASD in the United States, which is not generally pertinent to different nations. gives an outline of mental imbalance including definitions and indicative highlights. It offers recent information in an unmistakable way and is a valuable reference for Music Therapists to have the option to utilise. It was intriguing to find out about which methods to Autism were considered in the 2015 United States as Established, Emerging, and Unestablished. However, maybe much more significant for Music Therapists practitioners both in the United States and in the more extensive world would be some data about how EBP approach can utilise music and music making and how the connection between the child, the family and the therapist may be improved and fortified, prompting the accomplishment of therapeutic objectives.

Even though the book centres around the subject of music therapy in the United States, it significantly makes use of literature on music therapy from outside of the country.  It offers numerous useful suggestions like music therapy coaching that urges parents to connect musically with their young child, yet less focus is on supporting the parents themselves and expanding on existing positive associations between them and the child.

4.

McCaffrey, T., McFerran, K., Gattino, G. and Sundar, S. (2020) The Global Music Therapy Educators Network. British Journal of Music Therapy, 34(2), pp.80-81.

The article talks about a tangible solution in current pandemic situation in the form of a The Global Music Therapy Educators Library (E-library) curated by a worldwide network of music therapy educators. This is a brief e-library lasting for the pandemic time frame, which offers a space for music treatment instructors to make and share recordings on music treatment through the VIMEO platform for instructive purpose.

Educators who use music therapy around the world are connected in their obligation to the advancement of the progression through the training of new professionals. While different college programs stress assorted methodologies and are illustrative of their encompassing societies, there is a lot of that is shared between various programmes and their instructors. Yet, preceding the COVID-19 pandemic, there was minimal collaboration between educators as a group. One reason suggested in the article is because of time pressures and an absence of need to come together and celebrate diversities. With the beginning of the pandemic and the quick progress to web-based learning, a sudden space arose for dialogue among the network of music therapy educator. United by the difficulties on professional training because of a worldwide pandemic, various global teachers joined in conversation to look for a path forward.

The relevance of this literature lies in the fact that it accesses the current pandemic situation and puts the music therapy in this context.

The occasion to connect educators from all around the world with assorted points of views and geographic areas under one virtual rooftop empowers us to share information and mastery in inventive manners that help the education-learning needs of the music therapy network. One of the most certain results of the Global Music Therapy Educators Network is that it has united this community, even in a time of social distancing.

5.

Swaney, M. (2019) Towards a state of play: A case study exploring insight-oriented musical experiences with a woman with severe brain injury. British Journal of Music Therapy, 33(1), pp. 39-50.

This article has been included in the list as it presents an improvisational way to deal with insight-oriented therapy in music therapy. Other reason for including this article is that it details the case study of a woman with extreme cognitive impairments after she suffered from a haemorrhagic stroke. The research has investigated five clinical extracts across 40 sessions to show how a readied improvised melodic experience can encourage important self-investigation, prompting a revived self-identity in life after on suffers from brain injury. The reflective process of the therapist is essential to the attain therapeutic results; these are inspected with the casework material. This article recommends that insight-oriented musical encounters might be one method of supporting the emotional health of people living with the outcomes of serious brain injury either in slow-stream recovery or long-term neurological consideration.

Another reason this article has been included is because it introduces Winnicott’s (1971) notion of psychotherapy and states that music therapists are very much familiar the author’s work. Undoubtedly, in music treatment, the practitioners start their work by building up a platform whereupon the client’s capacities and limits are perceived. This therapy spaces enables encounters with each other and the demonstration of playing together unfurls. Where play is impossible, Winnicott proceeds by expressing at that point the work done by the specialist is coordinated towards bringing the patient from a condition of not having the option to play into a condition of having the option to play.

The case of study of Bonnie in the article shows how by presenting music therapy space, a person with extremely disorganised mind has the capability of engaging in deep explorations of their self as well as connecting with that self in a meaningful manner after sustaining brain damage.

6.

Harvard Health Publishing (2016) How music can help you heal. Available at: https://www.health.harvard.edu/mind-and-mood/how-music-can-help-you-heal

Finding someone who does not connect strongly to music is next to impossible. Regardless of one’s ability or inability to carry a tune or play an instrument, a person can give a list of songs that conjures happy memories and uplifts their spirits. The ability of music to heal emotionally as well as physically is the focus of this blog article. For a long time, surgeons have listed their favourite music in order to relieve stress when they are in the operating room. They also offer their patients with music in order to enhance the surgery results. Over the last few decades, music therapy has assumed a significant role in different fields of healing.

The article is informative about the type of people who become certified music therapists. There are the accomplished musicians having deep knowledge with regards to the manner in which music has the ability of bringing out emotional responses so that people can either experience relaxation or healing. This statement has been evidenced with real-life example of Holly Chartrand, who is a music therapist at Massachusetts General Hospital, affiliated to Harvard. Chartrand has previously trained as a vocalist. After realising that music can be used to help other people just as she it helped her personally, she took the decision of becoming a music therapist.

The blog provides a sampling of how music helps in improving medical outcomes and quality of life in various manners. Some of the listed outcomes are easing a patient’s anxiety and discomfort when they are undergoing medical procedures, decreasing the side effects caused by cancer therapy, offering assistance during physical therapy and rehabilitation, providing pain relief.

7.

Davis, L.C. (2015) Is It Harmful to Use Music as a Coping Mechanism? Available at: https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2015/11/is-it-harmful-to-use-music-as-a-coping-mechanism/413236/

This article from The Atlantic has been included in the list as it seeks to initiate a discourse on how much of music is too much. That music is a form of emotional self-care is understood by music streaming apps such as Spotify, that offers “Mood” playlists ranging from “Anthems of Angst” to “The Happy Hipster.” The article acknowledges the therapeutic qualities of music, by quoting Aristotle and the origins of music therapy in the mid-20th century, when in the United Kingdom, musicians went from hospital to hospital to play music for World War I and II soldiers suffering physical and emotional trauma.

The article refers to the research carried out by a Ph.D candidate Emily Carlson from Department of Music at Finland’s University of Jyväskylä. The article explores the question of whether it is possible to listen to music in manners that is sabotages one’s mental health. This question was asked in the Ph.D. study which surveyed music-listening habits of 123 participants.

The study found that among all the strategies utilised in listening to music, Discharge, which is the utility of music in order to express negative emotions, was linked to higher anxiety level and neuroticism among the participants, and more so in men. In turn, the fMRI data showed that men using Discharge strategy had decrease in mPFC or medial prefrontal cortex activity when listening to music. When compared to Diversion, which is a common music-listening strategy among females, Discharge can lead to amplification of negative feelings or result in what is known as externalizing strategy wherein an individual directs their negative behaviour and feelings outwards, and into the surroundings.

The article suggest the need for a little introspection to figure out if one’s music-listening habits is healthy. In case, one’s listening choices leads to feelings of rage or woe, then it is better to avoid such playlist.

8.

Schriewer, K. and Bulaj, G. (2016) Music streaming services as adjunct therapies for depression, anxiety, and bipolar symptoms: convergence of digital technologies, mobile apps, emotions, and global mental health. Frontiers in public health, 4, p.217.

This journal article has been selected as it acknowledges the role of streaming services as an adjunct tool for treating mental health issues. Despite music therapies being around for many years, the diverse cultural origins, music genres, and personal preferences does not impact music’s universal values. The authors portray how a quick development in web and mobile technologies, including overall availability of music streaming and cell phones can to some extent address expanding worldwide mental health challenges. At the same time, a cross-disciplinary coordinated efforts and thorough clinical approval of explicit clinical cases is needed for repurposing music streaming services into therapies for depression, bipolar disorder or anxiety. The article has also taken into account the comfort and low expenses of conveying computerised mediations, creating music streaming therapies to offer new opportunities for patients, their guardians, medical services experts, music industry, and artists all around the world.

The authors have given the example of music streaming services like Amazon Prime, Spotify, Apple Music, Google Play Music, SoundCloud, iHeartRadio, and Pandora that can play an assortment of songs on-request by means of the Internet and based on the preference and interest of the users.  An individual can choose music stations dependent on particular tunes, musician, genre, or mood. The station then plays melodies, which the audience previously chose, and new tunes, which are akin to the previously played tunes.

Music streaming channels offer large number of songs and melodic tracks and are accessible around the world, or in chosen nations. Numerous stations offer classifications based on one’s mood, for instance Spotify with "Have a Great Day," "Mind-set Booster," "Quiet Down," "Great Vibes," and so on and Apple Music with "Get Happy," "100 Most Uplifting Songs Ever" offering preset playlists that the listeners can pick. In contrast Google Play Music uses mood in search criteria like “Confident," "Quiet," "Fiery," and so forth to offer specific music.

The article is useful in understanding how new innovations can be repurposed for music therapy.

9.

Falodun, K. (2020) 'Don't stop the music': songs bring hope to a Nigerian psychiatric unit. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2020/nov/04/dont-stop-the-music-songs-bring-hope-to-a-nigerian-psychiatric-unit

The focus of Falodun’s The Guardian news article is the use of the music therapy in Nigerian psychiatric unit. Africa suffers from a treatment gap for those with mental health issues, particularly in sub-Saharan Africa. In Nigeria, an expected 20% to 30% of the populace have some type of mental illness. Various combination of variables when regarding the mental illness. The article quotes Dr Adetoun Faloye, a senior registrar in the psychiatry division of University College Hospital who states that they do not only use medication or psychotherapy or music treatment, but various helpful methodologies are consolidated and tailored to meet the person’s needs.

The article details the story of Bola Otegbayo who brings a group of artists and instrumentalists into this psychiatric unit at UCH in Ibadan, Nigeria once or twice a month. Besides being a musicologist, Otegbayo is also a renal technologists, who understood a couple of years ago that a portion of her patients were lonely despite the fact that their friends and family visited and guardians gave aid. So, she started to share music.

Music can be stimulative or remedial, however it can likewise be a wellspring of sadness. This is the reason why it should be utilised cautiously. The mentions Otegbayo’s desire to utilise this kind of treatment in other Nigerian emergency clinics. At the same time, there is the acknowledgement difficulties, particularly for somebody who is not an individual from hospital staff. Other than being an artist or having an energy for aiding individuals, somebody leading a group should be prepared and ready to work with therapists and medical caretakers. This is snot something any artist can do as they would prefer not to trigger the patients. The individual also needs to notice if the music therapy is working. Thus, the article makes the reader aware of various challenges in implementation of music therapy.

10.

Balzer, C. (2020) Music can boost your productivity while working from home – here's how. Available at: https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2020/apr/15/music-productivity-working-from-home

This article by Balzer is significant and timely in the light of the fact that the current pandemic situation has resulted in work from home for individuals in many different professions. Music is shown to improve both productivity and cognitive execution, particularly in grown-ups. The article goes to detail the steps in order to curate a playlist that acts as music therapy to boost work productivity from home.

The author lists that the tunes toward the start of the playlist should not constrain the listener into a condition of productivity, however they need to continuously bring the listener in that mood. This idea is known as the iso standard, which is a procedure therapist’s use to adjust the state of mind of a patient. The specialist will coordinate music to match the patient’s feeling, and afterwards gradually modify the melodies to accomplish the desired mind set.

The suggestions for curation of playlist is backed by research findings. For instance, the author cites that scientists have discovered that faster track speed can bring about increase in performance. In one investigation that inspected the connection between music rhythm and productivity, most guineas pigs performed best while tuning in to tunes paced at around 121 bpm. This is tracks such as Carly Rae Jepsen's Call Me Maybe, Whitney Houston's I Wanna Dance with Somebody, and Diana Ross’s I Will Survive.

The article also cautions that while research proposes tuning in to energetic, complex music can help people remain alert and motivated while performing tedious assignments, narrative lyrics can be diverting to those attempting to accomplish cognitive work. The greater part of work playlist needs to incorporate melodies with harmless or subtly performed lyrics.

As the playlist develops, tracks need to be orchestrated so that it bodes well for the manner in which the listener works. There should be flexibility in the playlist by permitting the authorization to tune in to new music, evaluate new things, and try new things out.

11.

Wheeler, B.L and Murphy, K. M., eds (2018) Music therapy research (3rd ed.). New Braunfels, TX: Barcelona Publishers.

With increase in exploration of music treatment advances, textbooks offer an outline of the field and direction in planning and leading examination. In an area that is tested by monetary difficulties, there is a developing requirement for music therapists to exhibit value for money, by assessing, and having the option to defend, the effect of what they do. With the demand for evidence-based practice, opportunities are opening for quality innovative work in such practice. The book provides readers an outline of the primary research paradigms. From building up an exploration subject to inspecting writing and encouraging observational work, the reader is guided hypothetically and for all intents and purposes through phases of arranging and executing possibly significant research ventures.

The book can be read by those with no current research experience as it acquaints the readers with scholastic data sets and disclosing how to direct academic inquiries through writing. It is additionally useful for those with more examination experience, as it compares two unmistakable hypothetical structures assigned as "objectivist" and "interpretivist," and driving the reader through the effective utilisation of the aftereffects of examination.

As music therapy training, demands that understudies sharpen their musical instincts and their ability for attunement and sympathy, the authors also reason the risk of bias can be high for researchers of music therapy. In addition, a critical obstacle in the carrying out thorough exploration can be that advisors are not able or reluctant to develop a valid, haphazardly assigned control group for merciful, rational, or moral reasons. Nonetheless, in the light of gaining acknowledgment from other health administrations and officers, the book sets out how objectivist research that utilise randomized control preliminaries (or different techniques for randomisation or relapse of irregularity plans) are vital to creating research of high quality.

[torturedwarrior]

Albert Fish:

Who exactly is Albert Fish? What made him famous? How many victims did he murder? How did Albert Fish die? Albert Hamilton Fish (May 19, 1870 – January 16, 1936) was an American sado-masochistic serial killer and cannibal. He was also known as the Gray Man, the Werewolf of Wysteria and possibly the Brooklyn Vampire. AKA Albert Fish, Laura Fish, Nepe Fish, Birthday May 19, 1870, Birthplace Washington DC, District of Columbia, United States, Death January 16, 1936, Manner of Death Capital Punishment, Nationality United States Of America, Occupations Prostitute, Serial Killer, Great Person, Male Prostitution, Religion Rejecting The Blood. “Misery leads to crime. I saw so many boys whipped it ruined my mind.”— Albert Fish.

He was delighted that he had "kids in all nations," which places his number near 100, although the question of violence or cannibalization is not obvious, much less as to whether it was real or not. In at least five killings for his career he was a witness. Fisch agreed to three killings and confessed to at least two other individuals attacking investigators might track a suspected crime. He was tried and convicted and hanged by electric chair for abduction and the death of Grace Budd.

Albert Fish’s Early Life:

He was born to Randall Fish (1795-1875) as Hamilton Fish in Washington, D.C. He said he was named after a distant relative, Hamilton Fish. His grandfather was 43 years older than his brother. It had three live siblings: Walter, Joyce, and Edwin Fish. Fish was the youngest child and he was three. After a deceased brother he wanted to be called "Albert," and to avoid the moniker of "Ham and Eggs," provided him in an orphanage where he spent many years in the beginning. Mental illness was suffered by many of his family members and theological mania was felt. His father was a sailor on the river boat, but he was a producer of fertilizers by 1870. The first Fish died in the 1875 Washington, DC, of a heart attack at the Sixth Street Station of the Pennsylvania Railroad. He was hit and kicked regularly, and finally discovered that he was suffering from physical pain. Often the beatings brought him houses that the other children told him about.

His mother was able to look after him and have a government job by 1879. He had however been influenced by his different experiences before this. He began a gay relationship with a telegraph-boy in 1882, when he was 12. Fish also heard about drinking urine and coprophagies in young people. Fish liked to frequent public baths and watch kids get ready and he spent much of his weekends watching them. In 1890, Fish had come to New York City and said he had become a male harlot. He claimed he began raping young boys, even after his mother had negotiated a marriage, a crime that he proceeded to commit. He married his wife in 1898 with a junior aged nine years. The dad: Albert, Mary, Gertrude, Eugene, Charles, and Henry Fish. They had six babies. He was charged on the basis of misappropriation and sentenced to 1903 in Sing jail. He had sex with men frequently during his incarceration. “I have no particular desire to live. I have no particular desire to be killed. It is a matter of indifference to me. I do not think I am altogether right.”— Albert Fish

He served as a house painter in 1898 and said that he kept angry babies, boys mostly under the age of six. Further on, he recalled an instance where a male friend took him to a waxworks museum where Fish became intrigued by a penis bisection, and shortly afterwards he was paranoid regarding castration. Fish tried to castrate him after linking him during a friendship with a mentally disabled man. The guy became terrified and ran. Fish then increased his trips to brothels to taunt and abuse him more often. His wife left him in January 1917 for a handyman, John Straube, who rented the Fish home. Despite this rejection, Fish started hearing voices; for instance, once he was wrapped up in a tapestry and clarified why he followed John the Apostle's orders.

Early attacks and attempted abductions:

It was Fish which perpetrated his first assault in Wilmington, Delaware in 1910 on a child named Thomas Bedden. He eventually murdered a child mentally disabled in Arlington, Washington, D.C., in 1919. Many of his perpetrators would frequently be either mentally impaired or American as they would not be overlooked, he claimed. On 11 July 1924 Fish discovered Beatrice Kiel, eight years of age, playing alone on the Staten Island estate of her father. He gave her money in the neighboring fields to help him hunt the rhubarb. As her mother scared Fish away, she was about to leave the farm. Fish fled but then returned back to the barn of Kiels, where, before Hans Kiel found him, he wanted to sleep and told him to leave.

Previous incarceration:

Fish met "Estella Wilcox," and lived a week in Waterloo, New York, on February 6, 1930. He was held at Bellevue psychiatric hospital between 1930 and 1931 for evaluation, and he was released in May 1930 "because he sent an indecent letter to an African American woman who replied a maid's advertising."

Fish Targets the Handicapped:

Around 1919, Albert Fish started attacking young men who, because he thought that these individuals would be ignored, were intellectually or African American. Fish liked to bribe kids to help him trap other kids so that he could torture and kill them. The proof has been confirmed in any of these murders. Upon his final conviction, Albert Fish made a number of statements. Even if there was no proof, he listed Albert Fish's victims in hundreds. In 1924, Albert Fish developed total insanity. He actually believed, although he has been tested several times by psychologists, that God was ordering him to torture and kill them. In July of that year, Fish met teenage Beatrice Kiel on the estate of her father alone. Her mother heard Fish chuckle and scare him from protecting the 8-year-old girl's life. Fish went back to the farm in Kiel later that night and slept in the stable. Hans Kiel, young Beatrice's parent, spotted him and quickly pursued him. The next move of Albert Fish was targeted at a young boy Cyril Quinn he had annoyed. To draw them into his den, Fish gave the boys lunch. The boys wrested on Fish's pillow, while waiting for sandwiches. Fish's "death weapons" and hammer, handsaw and cleaver were overthrown by the mattress. The boys have run from the house in panic. Again, Fish missed his job of killing and eating a boy. It took Fish up a bit of his playing.

 Albert Fish’s Victims:

Francis McDonnel- Francis, age 8, was murdered on July 14, 1924. He had been raped and strangled to death, Emma Richardson- Emma, age 5, was murdered on October 3, 1926, Billy Gaffney- Billy, age 4, was murdered on February 12, 1927. Fish confessed to torturing Billy by whipping him, cutting off his ears and nose and then gouging out his eyes. After Billy was murdered, Fish took home pieces of his body and ate them over the course of 4 days, Grace Budd- Grace, age 10, was murdered on June 3, 1928. Fish confessed to murdering her and then eating her whole body over the course of 9 days, Emil Aalling - Emil, age 4, was murdered on July 13, 1930, Robin Jane Liu- Robin, age 6, was murdered on may 2, 1931, Yetta Abramowitz- Yetta, age 12, was murdered in 1927. Fish was suspected to have murdered Yetta, Mary Ellen O’Connor- Mary, age 16, was murdered on February 15, 1932. Fish was suspected to have murdered Mary, Benjamin Collings- Benjamin, age 17, was murdered on December 15, 1932. Fish was suspected to have murdered Benjamin. “I always had a desire to inflict pain on others and to have others inflict pain on me. I always seemed to enjoy everything that hurt.”- Albert Fish, "What a thrill that will be if I have to die in the electric chair. It will be the supreme thrill. The only one I haven't tried."- Albert Fish.

 Trial and Execution:

It is not shocking that Fish is regarded as "the worst child killer in criminal history." The Grace Budd assassination court lasted eleven days. Cod has been found guilty and finally electrically disabled. Fish was said to have helped the boy place electrodes on his leg. There have been reports that the needles implanted by Fish into its body have created a short electric circuit, so it requires twice the normal electricity strikes to complete the job. Since then, these arguments have been dismissed. His lawyer claimed after Fish was killed that he had no words from Fish, just handwritten documents. "Information will never be shown to anyone. The prosecutor refused to read them. It was I have ever seen the filthiest list of obscenities. Until the end of his life, Fish had been a vile human being.

Albert Fish will tend to be one of the greatest abusers of girls in America. Few serial killers, particularly against children, have accomplished the cruelty he is renowned for. It needs to be seen whether Albert Fish was a serial killer at the orphanage. One has to ask if someone so evil as Fish was raised as an assassin or could his conditions transform him into a bad person. Like most serial killers, it's become a little bit of nature and nourishment. While he claims to also have killed thousands of children,' one in every state,' he was only ever found to have killed three. The three killings were so horrific that they solidified Fish's place in history as the worst child killer in all of American history.

Work Cited:

"Best Albert Fish Quotes | Quote Catalog." Quote Catalog. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://quotecatalog.com/communicator/albert-fish/>.

Blanco, Juan Ignacio. "Albert Fish | Murderpedia, the encyclopedia of murderers." Murderpedia, the encyclopedia of murderers. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://murderpedia.org/male.F/f/fish-albert.htm>.

Phan, Daniel. " Everything You Need To Know About Albert Fish | Serial Killer Shop ." Limited Edition Horror & Serial Killer Shirts – Serial Killer Shop . 18 Mar 2019. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://serialkillershop.com/blogs/true-crime/albert-fish>.

Whitney , Heather. "Victims of Albert Fish | The Serial Killers Podcast." The Serial Killers Podcast - A Weekly Podcast on Serial Murder. 1 Jan 2010. Web. 11 Feb 2020. <http://serialkillers.briancombs.net/2962/victims-of-albert-fish/>.